Come morning light you and I'll be safe and sound
by superrocketable
Summary: I have edited this to hopefully make it more readable. Angst with lots of fluff. Rape Warning. Brittana Love. Just close your eyes the sun is going down, you'll be alright noone can hurt you now. come morning light you and I'll be safe and sound..
1. My heart feels so new

"Hey San!" Brittany said brightly as she answered her phone.

"Hey babe, Ive got some bad news" Santana said.

"Whats up?" Brittany asked.

"I can't go to the party tonight. I have to go to some stupid thing where my abeula is going to tell my entire family I'm a lesbian in hopes of shaming it out of me I believe" Brittany's heart sunk, sure she was sad that Santana wasn't going to be there but she was more upset that her grandmother was still putting her through all this.

"That's ok honey, you going to be ok?" she asked.

"Yeah Britt, I'll be ok, as long as Ive got you. But you make sure you have fun tonight ok?" Brittany smiled trust santana to be worrying so much about her and not about herself.

"What time is your family thing?" she asked.

"7.30 I think my Mum said" Santana told her trying to remember.

"Do you want to come round for a bit before? get our cuddle on?" Brittany asked.

"Yeah that sounds great baby, I'll head round now. I will see you in 10 minutes"

The phone clicked off. Brittany shouted down to her mum that Santana was coming round and went back to watching tv. Soon enough Brittany felt her bed dip and she turned to meet Santana's lips with her own.

"Mm, hey baby" Santana said softly.

"Hey." she smiled.

"Hey" Santana repeated taking in Brittany in her vest top and tiny little shorts.

"You already said that" Brittany teased

"What?" Santana asked bringing her eyes up to Brittany's face.

Brittany giggled "Never mind" she said. Santana shrugged and moved to take her jacket and shoes off. She shivered a little then looked back at Brittany and her minimal clothes.

"Are you not cold Britt?" she asked frowning. Brittany shrugged "Maybe a little" she rolled her eyes and climbed on top of her girlfriend.

"Well why have you got so few clothes on?" she asked raising an eyebrow. Brittany blushed.

"What?" Santana said slowly.

"I kinda love the way you practically drool over me when I have these shorts on" she said quietly. Santana laughed.

"God you are perfect, I must have been a saint in a past life to deserve you." she declared leaning down and kissing the girl beneath her. Two hours later after alot of fun and then a shower which inevitably ended in more fun Santana extracted herself from a sleeping Brittany's arms and smiled she was so beautiful. Sometimes it hurt santanas heart to realise how beautiful she really was. Not wanting to wake her she grabbed some paper and wrote a note.

"I had to go get ready for tonight, Have a really good time at Rachaels, I'll have quinn watch out for you, you know I worry. I love you loads B, always." then she remembered something her and Brittany used to do a long long time ago. She grinned and scrawled on the bottom. "Santana Lopez, over and out" and placed the note next to Brittany's head then went home.

As Santana got out of the car at her Abuela's house her phone buzzed. She pulled it out of her pocket and couldn't stop the smile that spread onto her face.

"Hey buzz, thank you for the note, it made me smile. Don't worry about tonight or what your abuela says, your mum and dad will back you up no matter what. And you've always got me. I love you to infinity and beyond x 3 x"

And that was all Santana needed to get through the night. "I think your stealing my lines there Woody, thank you though I love you too... to infinity and beyond. Have fun tonight, I will text you later xxx"


	2. There's ups and downs in this love

The night at her Abuela's had gone well, her grandmother had been vicious and every single member of her family had stuck up for Santana and accepted her sexuality magnificently. She didnt get home until 12.30. As she climbed into bed she pulled her phone out and frowned seeing there were no texts from Brittany, there were a couple from Mercedes , Quinn and Puck. Just general drunken things but nothing from Brittany.

"Hey babe, I hope you had a good time tonight, things went really well with my family everyone was angry at my abuela, but I'll explain more later. Sleep well beautiful text me in the morning I love you xxx"

By 12 o clock the next morning when there was still no text from Brittany, Santana started to worry. She didn't want to be a needy girlfriend, that was never what she did but at the end of the day she had never been in love before so maybe a needy girlfriend was who she was? So she put her shoes on and drove to Brittanys. Mrs Pierce answered the door.

"Hey Mrs P" she said.

"Hello dear, Brittany didn't mention you were coming round today" she said stepping back and letting Santana in the house.

"She doesn't know, I just came to get the gossip from last night." she said. Mrs Pierce nodded.

"She's in her room" Santana thanked Mrs Pierce and headed up. Santana pushed the door open to see Brittany staring at her laptop her hair still wet from a shower, actually from Brittany's 4th shower in as many hours but Santana didnt know that.

"Hey baby" Santana said, Brittany's head shot up.

"San, what are you doing here?" she asked. Santana shrugged.

"You hadn't text me since like 7 yesterday, I missed you" she told her sitting down on the bed facing her.

"Sorry, I must have forgotten" Brittany said, Santana frowned , that was weird cause Brittany was forever texting her, but Santana just shrugged

"That's ok baby, it gave me an excuse to come and see you" she said not wanting to push Brittany to tell her what was wrong. Brittany smiled but Santana could see it was forced.

"How was last night?" she shrugged.

"It was ok, Tina and Mike had a big argument and Puck was so drunk he passed out but other than that it was ok, we danced and everyone got drunk that was it really" Santana frowned. Well if it was fine what was wrong with Brittany?

"Come sit on here with me B" Santana moved onto the bed but sat at the other side from Santana. Santana rolled her eyes and moved to wrap her arms round her, she felt Brittany flinch at her touch which freaked Santana out and she remained stiff in her arms.

"What's wrong B?" she asked gentally kissing her temple. Brittany shook her head.

"Nothing I'm just really hungover, I think I just need to sleep or something" she said. Santana kissed her head again.

"Ok baby, I'll go home and let you sleep. but when you wake up please text me or I'll just have to come back again to make sure you are ok." At a comment like that Brittany would usually tease her and say she would never text her again if it meant Santana was always with her but she just nodded.

"Sure San, I will text you I promise" Santana looked at her expectantly and Brittany frowned

"What I will!" Brittany insisted

"No, no I believe you but do I not get a kiss before I go." Brittany leant forward and kissed her, it was gentle and lasted for nowhere near as long as Santana would have liked but she could feel Brittany's love in that kiss and it calmed her worrying a little bit.

"I'll take you out for lunch tomorrow?" Santana said when Brittany pulled back.

"Yeah ok." Brittany nodded withdrawing back into herself once more.

"Ok, Ill see you tomorrow" Santana said with one last kiss to Brittany's head.

"I love you baby." Brittany nodded

"I love you too Santana." Santana smiled and left the room. She passed Mrs Pierce in the kitchen who called her back.

"You going already Santana?" she asked.

"Yeah, she seems upset about something and she wont admit to me that theres anything wrong but she said she wanted to sleep. I don't know whats wrong" she admitted.

"She didn't even ask me about last night" she said quietly.

"How was it?" Mrs Pierce said

"It was good" she smiled. "My family were very accepting of the whole thing." she told her.

"That's brilliant. And im sure Brittany will be ok, it's probably just a hangover." Santana laughed.

"thats what Britts said, Im just paranoid I suppose, anyway I will see you tomorrow Mrs P." she said feeling a little better, it was just a hangover, it was fine. She went home.


	3. I'm so in love with you never take that

Brittany did text her later which was a relief in itself but Santana wasn't happy with the content of it.

"I know I said I would text but I have to go to my Grandmas now, and you know how they have a no phones policy. But I will see you tomorrow for our date." No kisses or anything. What the hell was going on? Had something happened at the party that she couldn't tell her. Had she cheated? Oh God if she had got with Artie just no, it wasnt even worth thinking about she would be destroyed. Or maybe she had realised she didn't want to be with her anymore. She groaned and pulled her laptop out praying Quinn was on facebook. Quinn wasnt online but Mercedes was and that was the next best thing:

**Santana :** Sup

** Mercedes :** Hey, we missed you last night

**Santana :** That's cause I'm amazing, how was last night anyway, fill me in

** Mercedes:** Unfortunately really uneventful, except the Tina/Mike argument which it turns out was over like nothing. so you didnt miss much

**Santana :** How was Britt?

**Mercedes :** What do you mean?

**Santana :** Did she have fun?

**Mercedes :** Yeah I think so, she definitely felt a little bit lost without you there though. but she seemed fine. why is something wrong?

**Santana :** Nahh, i was just checking. anyway I better go.

So Mercedes hadn't noticed anything off with Britt, which meant noone had because Mercedes knew everything. Santana sighed, well she would see Brittany tomorrow and everything would be fine.  
>She spent the night in her room being bored without Brittany to text and fell asleep by 9.30pm with no contact from Brittany at all.<p>

"Urghh" She groaned at her alarm which she had forgotten to turn off the night before. She grabbed her phone and checked the time it was 8, what kind of time was that on a sunday? Well she was awake now she might as well get out of bed. She made breakfast, went for a shower and got dressed and then went to text Brittany. She grabbed her phone not expecting any texts but she had one from Quinn.

"Hey S, got a weird text of Britt last night it just I don't know what to do. And when I questioned her about it she ignored me." Santana frowned. What the hell was going on at all?

"Thanks Q, I'll find out whats up with her" then she opened a message to Brittany.

"Morning beautiful, hope you had a nice time with your grandparents. I am going to come pick you up at 12 if thats ok? and we can go eat wherever you want. I won't even insist on breadstix. xxx"

Santana moved around her room putting make up on and doing her hair worrying about what was wrong with never hid anything from her and the only thing Santana could think was she was leaving her, or god forbid, she was dying. She couldn't think of any other reasonable explaination. Then her phone beeped, she grabbed it and was relieved to see it was Brittany replying not Quinn.

"Ok San, and we can go to breadstix I wouldn't want to have to put up with your breadstick withdrawal all day cause thats no fun. xxx" She smiled at the return of kisses on the end of the text and headed out of the door to go and see her girlfriend. She knocked on the door of brittanys house at 5 to 12. Ashley answered.

"Hey kiddo" santana grinned

"Hey Santana" the 9 year old replied.

"Is Brittany about?" she asked

"She's in her room, she shouted at me before" the girl frowned brittany was always so patient with Ash, she never shouted at her.

"I'm sure she didnt mean it" she said "I'll go tell her off though yeah?" Ashley grinned

"Yes please" Santana laughed and walked up the stairs. She pushed the bedroom door open.

"Hey Britt you ready?" Brittany had been staring into her closet and shook her head.

"No" Santana frowned.

"Why what's up?" she asked taking a step towards her.

"I don't know what to wear" she said. Santana breathed a small sigh of relief and said

"Well what's wrong with what youve got on now?" Brittany turned round to face her.

"Do you think its ok?" Santana looked her up and down.

"Come here" she said softly. Brittany assumed she was going to kiss her cause thats usually what followed those two words but Santana took Brittany's jacket off and tossed it onto the bed then took her own off and put it on Brittany then kissed her forhead.

"There you go babe you look perfect" she said before stepping past her and grabbing one of Brittany's other jackets to put on herself.

"Thank you San." Brittany said eyeing herself up in the mirror.

"That's ok, you ready to go?" she asked. Brittany nodded. Santana held her hand out.

"Lets go then" Brittany took her hand and let Santana pull her out of the house. She held the car door open for her, as she always did and Brittany really started to appreciate all the little things Santana did for her.

"So where do you want to go?" Santana asked starting the car.

"We can go to breadstix San , honestly." Santana grinned

"You sure?" Brittany nodded

"It's worth it to see that look on your face" she admitted

"Yey!" she giggled setting off towards her favourite restaurant. Brittany was unusually quiet throughout dinner and Santana was beginning to get really worried. As they got back to the car Santana felt she really had to say something.

"Britt whats wrong?" she asked

"Nothing's wrong I'm fine why?" she asked

"Well you've been quiet all weekend, you've barely text me, you have barely touched me and Ash told me you shouted at her." Brittany shrugged.

"Theres nothing wrong, I told you I didn't text you cause I was hungover then I was with my grandparents, I'm sorry I havent touched you but maybe im just not as obsessed with sex as you and Ash was being a brat and she deserved it." Brittany snapped. Santana's eyes went wide.

"What the fuck?" she muttered

"Oh whats wrong Santana? Is it too difficult for someone to speak to you in the way you speak to everyone else?" she spat.

"I never speak to you like that Brittany and you know it" Santana breathed.

"Well you're a bitch to everyone else." she snapped.

"I'm trying Britt, I promise. I don't understand why you are being like this" she said as they pulled up outside Brittany's house.

"Being like what? Im great. I'm fine maybe its YOU with the problem huh?" she spat.

"What do you need me to do Britt to make it better?" she asked. Brittany unclicked her seatbelt.

"Not everything in the fucking world is about you." She flung the door open.

"Maybe there isnt anything you can do" and she slammed the door shut and stalked up to her front door swinging it open with real force. The second she entered her room she slid down the door and wept. Santana sat in her car outside Brittany's house for the next 20 minutes and let the tears pour down her face.


	4. you give me a quiet mind

After those 20 minutes her phone rang.

"San.." Brittany said quietly.

"Yeah baby?" That made Brittany sob more.

"I'm sorry." she whispered "Will you come back?" she asked timidly.

"I didn't leave baby, I was gonna just wait here till you needed to leave for school. Come and open the door yeah?" she asked climbing out of the car. She had only just reached the front door when it flew open and Brittany threw herself into her arms.

"I love you, I love you, I love you" Brittany repeated holding onto Santana tightly. Santana slid her hands down Brittany's thighs until she reached her knees where she lifted Brittany into her arms, her legs automatically wrapped around the shorter girl.

"Come on." she replied shutting the front door behind her. She carried Brittany easily up to her bedroom and turned to sit down on the bed, Brittany still wrapped tightly around her sobbing and telling her she loved her.

"Shush shush. Calm down baby." She breathed into her ear.

"I'm so sorry San I love you so much. I love you more than anything else in the entire world, I always have I didn't mean what I said I didn't." She started crying again.

"I know darling. I know. I love you too. Just as much that's why I have been worried about whats been going on." If anything Santana's words just made Brittany worse. She didn't deserve her not after she had been shutting her out and after the horrible things she had said and she just sobbed into her chest letting Santana place kisses on her head. Santana knew it wasnt the time to push Brittany about what was going on so she just rocked her and whispered to her.

"I love you Brittany, I always have and I always will. No matter what happens in our lives that's the only thing I am sure of. I will love you until the day I die and I will do everything in my power to make sure you are happy every day of your life. I love you so so much"She kissed her head as the sobs lessened for a while before starting up again in full force. She pulled her even closer to her.

"It's ok baby, its ok I love you." Then Santana felt someone elses presence and looked up at Mrs Pierce who was frowning. Santana shrugged slightly and shook her head "I have no idea" she mouthed. Mrs Pierce gave her a look that said I trust you to look after my daughter and Santana's heart swelled. She nodded at Mrs Pierce and went back to rocking her girlfriend in her arms. Soon Brittany was asleep, it was only 4pm but Santana figured she needed the sleep. She shifted gentally and stood up pulling the covers back, then she laid brittany down and carefully took her shoes off putting them at the end of the bed. Then she picked up some paper to leave her a note.

"Brittany baby, I don't know whats happened or what has been going on but I need you to know I am ALWAYS here for you no matter what. Sleep well beautiful, I will be here in morning to drive you to school. I love you B. More than I think you will ever know. To infinity and beyond." She left the note next to Brittany's head then kissed her cheek and headed downstairs into the kitchen where Mrs Pierce was sat.

"She's asleep" Santana said sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Whats happened?" Mrs Pierce asked

"I honestly have no idea. Shes been really quiet since friday night and shes barely been speaking to me. Then Ash told me she had shouted at her which is so unlike Britt. So on our way back from breadsticks I asked her what was wrong and she started shouting at me" Santana shook her head slightly "She's shouted at me like 5 times in our entire life it was so weird. Then she came in here and I sat in my car outside for 20 minutes and then she just came running out and threw herself at me crying and all I've got out of her since is that she is sorry for shouting at me and that she loves me" Santana shrugged "I don't know what to do" She admitted quietly. Mrs pierce placed her hand on santanas sholders.

"Don't worry Santana, you mean the world to her she will tell you whats wrong soon enough. You're the only person she will tell." Mrs Pierce said. Santana nodded.

"I'll come and pick her up for school in the morning" She said standing up.

"Ok, dont worry Santana, it will be something and nothing." Santana nodded.

"I hope so. I'll see you in the morning Mrs P" She headed home feeling quiet dejected about what could be wrong with her perfect girl.


	5. I wont quit cause I want her

Santana pulled up to Brittany's house at 8.15 the following morning as she did every day and waited for Brittany to come out. She was there no more than 30 seconds later.

"Hey" she said softly.

"Hey, you ok?" Brittany nodded

"I'm sorry about yesterday I don't know what came over me. I think I've just been a bit down all weekend but I'm ok now." Oh no, she wasnt going to pretend this was fine when it most certainly wasnt. Santana took a breath willing herself to calm down but she didn't trust herself to say anything so she just nodded and started driving.

She was hoping that Brittany would open up to her after yesterday but she was silent on the entire drive to school and it seemed the crying yesterday had made no difference. That was why when Brittany bounded up to Quinn and Mercedes in the corridor Santana saw red. What the actual fuck? She was content to be perfectly normal and happy with them but around her girlfriend she was being super weird. Santana really really didnt want to shout at Brittany so just turned on her heel and headed in the opposite direction. It was the same all day, Brittany chatted and laughed with their friends but distanced herself from Santana, she didnt hold her hand or even sit next to her and she was making a concious effort to avoid eye contact.

At lunch Brittany had a meeting with Figgins about the role she was doing as president. Santana got her lunch and plonked herself down at the table with the gleeks. They all looked round at her as she started to eat silently. Eventually Quinn spoke

"What's going on with you and Britt?" she asked. Santana shrugged

"Fuck knows. She been weird since friday night I have no clue whats going on." she admitted "You lot were there on friday did anything happen I ought to know about?" she asked. The all shook their heads.

"And shes been fine with all of you?" she asked. They all nodded.

"Maybe shes going to leave you?"Artie suggested

"Do you want me to cut you?" Santana snapped.

"Hey im just saying if shes cheating on you.." Quinn frowned at Artie

"What the fuck? Brittany would never cheat on her" she protested "Brittany has been waiting for Santana her whole life, she wouldnt throw that away" Artie shrugged

"She didnt seem to be so worried about waiting when she was with me, she was beginning to realise that you are just in it for the sex, maybe shes realised a real relationship is what she needs. With a healthy sex life but romance as well. like I offered" he said. Santana saw red at this. How fucking dare he.

"Oh really artie?" she said "In the 3 months you were together you had sex a total of 9 times. Nine artie. You went on 7 dates. She stayed at your house once. You told her you loved her 13 times and the most romantic thing you did for her was take her out to breadstix, where by the way you didn't even get her order right and after which she came to me and got in my bed and told me about how disasterous it was, but dont worry Artie I removed all thought of you from her mind by the end of the night." She told him. "So thats the sum total of your relationship, you think that is better than what I have with her? Want me to compare? In the past 3 months? Britts and I have had sex 87 times. I have taken her out on 17 dates, at which I paid for her and I made sure she knew I was doing it for her and after every single one of those dates she has stayed at my house and many other times in between 3 times a week infact. I have told her I love her 431 times, and I know that cause brittany counts incase I suddenly stop so she knows she has all of those built up, but I wont ever stop telling her. So don't you fucking dare suggest you were better with her and don't you dare imply I don't know my girl well enough to treat her right." Santana stepped away from Artie who was shaking all over his eyes screwed shut. "If you find out whats wrong Q will you text me, Im going eating my lunch away from that" she said pointing at artie whose eyes hadnt reopened.

By 3 and glee when Brittany decided to sit at the opposite side of the room from her, Santana decided she couldn't take it anymore.

"What the hell is going on Britt?" she asked. Brittany looked up at her

"Nothing" she muttered.

"Bullshit" Santana spat hating herself for getting angry at Brittany, especially infront of the glee kids. but she couldnt stop herself. "You've been practically silent since friday night, you have barely spoken to me, then last night you cried yourself to sleep in my arms but got up this morning like that had never happened and whats worse is you have been perfectly normal with everyone else it's just me that gets this treatment. What have I done Britt? tell me? or what have you done? Whichever I just want to know" she yelled at her.

Tears welled up in Brittany's eyes. "I can't tell you" she said quietly.

"Why not?" she asked her voice it's normal volume again "You've never had a problem telling me anything before" she said.

"I can't tell you. You will get so mad at me, and you wont want to be with me anymore. So I can't tell you. Just leave it?" she pleaded.

"What could you have possibly done that would make me leave you? cause I can't think of anything" though cheating was screaming at her in the back of her mind.

"I cant tell you Santana." she shouted

"Well I cant continue with our relationship in the state its in, if your hiding things from me but also trying to keep as much distance between the two of us as you can" She shot back

"I can't be near you. Im too scared of you finding out." Brittany muttered.

"What the hell do you want from me Brittany? You can't expect me to just be normal when I know your hiding something from me and you wont even look at me." She snapped.

"I cant San. Don't you understand I can't!" She yelled tears streaming down her face. Then she ran out of the room leaving her phone and purse on the chair. Santana sighed and placed her hands over her face. Then she shook her head and picked up Brittany's phone and purse and went out of the same door Brittany had. Everyone in the choir room, including Mr Shue looked at each other in shock.

"What the hell was that?" Puck asked.

"They will be fine" Quinn said. "I'm sure of it." But she was more trying to convince herself than everyone else.


	6. till a landslide brings you down

Santana wandered the halls of the school trying to find Brittany. Just to apologise at the very least. She didn't have to tell her what was wrong, she just needed her to be acting normal. She practised what she would say in her head so as not to get angry and eventually she walked into the cheerios locker room. She didn't think this would be somewhere Brittany would run to but it was worth a try.

There was noone about but she could hear a shower running. As she took a step closer she could hear harsh sobs. Sobs that she knew belonged to her girlfriend, she had heard them the evening before afterall. She took her shoes off and made her way round to the stalls to try and console her. However the sight that she was confronted with made all the colour drain from Santanas face, she nearly threw up, she would have done had her brain not screamed at her to help.

Brittany was sat on the floor of the shower blood running down her stomach whilst she mercilessly hacked at herself just below her chest with a cut throat razor which Santana recognised as belonging to Brittany's dad. Santana pulled her top and cheerios skirt off and threw them to the floor before running to the girl. The first thing she noticed was that the water was so hot it was burning both of them but she ignored that and prized the razor out of Brittany's hand and threw it to the other side of the room. Brittany threw herself into Santana's arms who took a step back to steady herself then she shut the water off as Brittany began crying hysterically.

"Oh baby, oh my god, what have you done" Santana said softly "Come on let me help you" she said pulling Brittany to her feet. She hooked her arm under her legs and lifted her carrying her into the locker room. She put her down and moved to stand up.

"Don't go" Brittany whispered.

"I'm not going anywhere darling, not ever. I'm just gonna put my skirt back on ok, then we'll get you dressed yeah?" she said. Brittany nodded weakly still sobbing. Santana looked down at herself she was covered in Brittany's blood but it would have to wait. She pulled her skirt on and picked up her top. Silently she walked back over to Brittany.

"Britt, let me look at your stomach a sec ok? I need to figure out if we need to take you to a doctor." Brittany shook her head viciously

"No, no dont make me go to a doctor San, please don't make me." she pleaded

"Just let me look then?" she offered. Brittany nodded and allowed Santana to look.

"Stay here ok? I'm just gonna get something to clean it ok?" Brittany nodded again. Santana was just working on autopilot, if not she would have been crying as much as Brittany was but she couldn't comprehend it what would cause her amazing, bright, happy girlfriend who only saw good in the world to do this? She grabbed some cloth and wet it and went back to Brittany. She knelt on the cold floor of the cheerios locker room in her skirt and her soaking wet bra and dabbed carefully at Brittany stomach her mind and stomach both reeling.

She just tried to focus on the task in hand and not think about anything else. After she had wiped the blood away she inspected the series of cuts, there were a lot of them but luckily, so so luckily, none were too deep and soon enough they all stopped bleeding. Brittany was shivering by now.

"Come here let me get you dressed" she whispered. It was surreal, she was usually ripping Brittany's clothes off not putting them on. Everytime Santana had dressed Brittany previously she had either been drunk or it had been after they had had sex and every time it had involved a lot of giggling and a lot of kissing. This was so starkly opposite. They were both silent as Santana pulled Brittany's underwear on for her. Santana's eyes never left Brittany's face watching her try and control her breathing but every time failing miserably. She put her bra on for her, then pulled her skirt on. Then she gentally ran her fingers over the cuts hating herself as Brittany flinched slightly but she needed to know the pain wasnt too much for her to put her tshirt on her. When she was satisfied she pulled Brittany's cheerios top over her head.

Brittany sighed in relief that she was finally covered up but she was still shivering so Santana wrapped a towel around her hair and gentally started to dry it. Ever so slowly Brittany stopped crying and Santana felt it was safe for her to speak.

"Brittany" she said gentally.

"Yeah?" she asked as she felt Santana removed the towel from her head and throw it to the floor.

"Look at me?" she asked. Brittany stood up and turned to face her, Santana pulled her gentally onto her lap and Brittany took her in, her hair was still dripping, her bra was wet she had dried blood smeared across her arms and stomach and then Brittany looked into her eyes and that was the worse bit. She was terrified, as calm as she had been cleaning and dressing Brittany she was absolutely terrified. But before Brittany could find any words she spoke.

"I love you Brittany, I love you so much. I know you don't want to tell me whats going on and that's not what I'm asking right now. I'm asking you please, no im begging you, please never ever ever do that again? no matter what it is that's got you like this its not worth that baby. You've always got me. always, no matter what capacity you want me in wether you want me as I am now or wether you need me to just be your best friend, I am always here so if you feel like that again please come to me let me hold you let me do whatever you need to make those feelings go because if I lost you my life would be over, you are everything Britt. everything.I can't lose you.. I can't.." with that Santana's tears finally fell. The sight of Santana so broken because of something she did started Brittany's tears again.

"I'm sorry Santana, I'm so sorry. I just didn't know what to do, I didnt know I didn't want to think about it and the pain was taking over all other thoughts. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry" she said leaning forward and pressing her lips to Santanas. It was chaste and it was really barely a grazing of lips but then Santana did the same thing to her and they sat and cried and pressed gentle kisses to each others faces until the length of time she had been crying became too much for Brittany. She lay her head on Santana's sholder.

"I'm so tired San. I haven't been sleeping" she admitted.

"Why haven't you been sleeping?" she asked worried that she may be pushing Brittany to say something she didn't want to.

"I have been scared. I only feel safe when you hold me" she told her.

"That's ok baby, I'm here now so go to sleep. I've got you I promise." Brittany nodded into Santanas neck.

"I love you santana. Don't leave me" she told her. Santana pressed her lips to Brittany's forhead.

"I will never leave you. I love you too Brittany, forever." she said softly

"Forever" Brittany agreed before sleep overtook her. Santana just watched her sleep glad that she didnt seem to be troubled there and glad that she felt her presence was at least doing something to calm Brittany down. Five minutes later Quinn walked into the changing room.

"Santana!" she said when she saw her.

"Shush Quinn shes asleep" Santana frowned watching Brittany's face making sure she hadnt been disturbed. Quinn took a step towards them eyeing up Santana in her bra with wet hair and was that blood?

"San what's going on?" she asked sitting down next to her. Santana shook her head.

"I really am not sure. This is the second time in two days she has cried herself to sleep in my arms." she told her. "I don't know whats caused it." she admitted.

"You've been crying too though" Quinn pointed out looking at Santana's red eyes and ruined make up. "And is that blood?" she asked pointing at Santana's midriff. Santana sighed and nodded.

"Look Q, you are the only person I trust with this so please please don't make me regret this" Quinn nodded. "I'd been looking for Britt everywhere and I came in hear and I could hear the shower running and I could hear her crying. So I went to find her and well I saw her doing something. So I didnt think, I went straight in there hence why my hair is wet and why I haven't put my top back on over my wet bra yet." Quinn frowned not quite understanding her. Santana sighed "Urgh I cant say it outloud, ill just cry again" She pressed a kiss to Brittany's forhead making sure she wasnt going to wake up before pulling her top up.

Quinn gasped and Santana pulled it back down again pulling Brittany a little closer to her as if she was trying to absorb the pain.

"Why has she done that?" Quinn breathed.

"I don't know Q, I am going to find out though. I can't let her do this again. I can't stand seeing her like this." she told her.

"What if she won't tell you?" Quinn asked. Santana managed a small smile.

"We tell each other everything, no matter how much it hurts to, we always have. She will tell me I know her." she explained

"She said in the choir room that you'd be mad and leave her though, so why would she want to tell you" Quinn reasoned. Santana shook her head.

"I wouldnt leave her, and I'm going to make sure she knows that. This isn't like anything else I've had in my life. This is it for me. The real thing. I am never going to be with anyone else, I know that. Even if she walked away I could never ever replace her, she has been there every second of my life and we are finally where we are supposed to be." Quinn felt herself tear up.

"You really love her don't you?" Quinn whispered.

"So much it hurts me. I live in constant fear of disappointing her or upsetting her or ruining her." she said now watching Brittany rather than looking at Quinn.

"You treat her better than anyone else in the entire world ever could, so when Artie and other twats say stuff about your relationship remember its perfect. You will get her through this I know you will." Santana smiled

"Thanks Quinn." she stood up.

"If either of you need me. you know you can always call don't you?" she said. Santana nodded.

"Yeah, will you apologise to Mr Schue for us both leaving?" Quinn nodded. "Oh and will you do me one other favour?" she asked "Will you go in my bag and pass me my phone?" Quinn smiled

"Sure" Santana moved herself round gentally and took the phone. She first called Brittany's mum. Quinn decided to wait so she could put the phone back for her.

"Hey Mrs P. Yeah I know, that's why I'm calling actually. Oh no she is here with me. She cried herself to sleep again. We are still at school. I was wondering if I could take her back to mine, I don't really want to leave her tonight or we could come back to yours. Thank you Mrs P. Yes I will get her to call you when she wakes up. Thank you." She put the phone down and Quinn held out her hand to put it back

"One sec, just need to make one more call." she said

"Hey mami. I've had a bit of a stressful day. No, no nothing like that. It's Brittany, she's very upset. Well she is asleep right now. Yes we are still in school. I was wondering if I could bring her home. Mami!no! that is not my plan, why would I be thinking about sex when she is this upset. Right well I'll be coming home soon. Yes mami. I will see you soon" Quinn chuckled at the look of disgust on her face.

"Honestly that woman!" Santana muttered "She said oh you want to bring Brittany round to cheer her up in a way only you can do you?" She shook her head

"She has her mind in the gutter more than I do." Quinn laughed again.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked Santana nodded

"Yeah thanks Quinn" Quinn shrugged.

"That's ok, your my best friends."


	7. I keep falling all around her fairytale

As soon as Quinn had left Santana shook Brittany a abit

"Baby wake up" She cooed. Brittany's eyes fluttered open "Come on baby, I'm going to take you home" She whispered. Brittanys eyes widened.

"Don't leave me on my own San!" She said.

"Hey shush, shush" She whispered kissing her head "I've already called your mum and mine and I'm going to take you back to mine. I wont leave your side I promise"

When they got to Santana's house she sent Brittany up to her room telling her she needed to speak to her mum.

"Mami?" she said walking into the kitchen.

"Mija? You look terrible. What the hell is going on?" Then Santana broke down in tears once more. Maria rushed over and wrapped her arms around her daughter.

"What's wrong Mija?" she asked.

"It's.. It's.." she sobbed.

"Hey shush shush, breath." She cooed. Santana pulled herself back from her mum trying to get herself in control.

"It's Brittany mami, I caught her today hurting herself. And I dont know what to do mami. I don't know what's caused it or why she's done it and I'd give anything to take away her pain. I'd take it myself Mami I swear but I just don't know what to do." she told her, her voice hitching every few words as she tried to prevent a fresh stream of tears.

Maria's eyes widened. Brittany hurting herself? Brittany? As in the girl she had known since she and her daughter had be 4 years old. The little girl who had brought joy into her daughter's life, who had made her into the person she was today. The little girl who had grown up into a wonderful happy , smiling young woman who saw only the positive in everything had been hurting herself? Why? She just didn't understand it. She took a breath to steady herself.

"You say this happened today?" she asked. Santana nodded. "Right well I will tell you what you are going to do. You are going to get on the phone and order a pizza, then you are going to go upstairs and put a film on, let her pick. Then you are going to get in bed and you are going to hold her. You are going to do anything she asks of you, anything at all. Even if she asks you to leave her alone for a while your going to do it. Then eventually she will be ready to tell you what is wrong. And when that happens no matter what it is she tells you, you are going to hold her. You are going to tell her its ok." Santana nodded hugging her mother again.

"Gracias mami" she whispered. Maria nodded handing Santana the phone.

"She'll be ok." she assured her. "and Santana?" Santana looked up from the number she was dialing. "You keep reminding her how much you love her. Everyone can see that that is a hell of a lot so you keep telling her and that will help." Santana nodded again and finished calling for pizza.

When she got to her room she found Brittany sitting on her bed staring off out of the window.

"Britt?" she said softly. Brittany turned to face her, Santana was glad to see she had stopped crying.

"Do you think when people do bad things they lose their magic?" she asked. Santana frowned and took a step nearer to her.

"What do you mean B?" she asked gentally. Brittany took a breath.

"Well when I'm on my own normally I think about things. Like I think about you most of the time but I also think about ways to stop Lord T eating so much or smoking. And I think about fairies and dancing and sweets." She looked up into Santana's eyes. "But since friday all I can think about is how bad I feel and how sad I am. Like I feel like I've just seen someone kick a puppy, and it only feels better when I hurt myself you know so the puppy isn't suffering anymore. So am I not magical any more? Am I a bad person now?" Santana dropped to her knees infront of Brittany.

"Oh baby, no, you are the most magical person I have ever met. Nothing, I repeat, nothing could ever take that. You see the world in a way I wish I could, please don't let anything stop that." She said honestly. "And you are not a bad person. I don't know what went on on friday night but I can tell you without a doubt that you are not a bad person, you don't have it in you to be a bad person." Brittany sighed.

"Lord Tubbington is angry with me for not telling you what happened." she began. "And I want to tell you San I really do but can I maybe wait a little bit? I need to build all the magic back up so I can tell you. Like when you needed to build it all up so you could tell everyone that your lebenese." Santana nodded, she understood what it was like to have a fear eating you away stopping you saying what you really wanted. She had made Brittany wait YEARS it was only fair to let Brittany have time to get herself together.

"Of course honey. I've ordered us a pizza. Do you want to watch a film or something?" She asked.

"Can we watch Pocahontas?" she asked. Santana smiled, that was Brittany's favourite disney film, she had once told Santana that Pocahontas reminded her of Santana in her looks, but personality wise she was more like Mulan. Santana was happy with that assessment. Santana got up and made her way over to the extensive disney collection she would deny she owned to anyone who wasnt Brittany and plucked out the dvd.

* * *

><p><em>AN just a warning the next chapter will tackle the actual issue and focus on how Santana handles everything. I am trying to keep with Brittanys character, but in a situation like this it happens that people act out of character. Thank you for all the lovely reviews it makes me smile :)_


	8. In my heartbeat I really need this

Later, after there had been lots of pizza eating, lots of disney watching on Brittany's part, lots of Brittany watching on Santana's part, a little bit more crying and a lot of cuddling Santana leant over Brittany and flicked the bedside lamp off plunging them in darkness. Santana pressed one kiss to Brittany's lips, then one to her forhead before pulling the covers over both of them.

"I love you Britt" she told her softly as she pulled her closer into her chest.

"I love you too San." came the muffled response. They fell into silence and Santana assumed Brittany had fallen asleep, afterall it had been an exhausting day and she did say she hadn't been sleeping. Then she felt her move so that her mouth was close to Santana's ear, she settled for a little bit before speaking.

"I want to tell you about friday" she said quietly. Santana just nodded her head. "It was fun, they were playing lots of really good dancing music and I had lots of vodka and I was having fun." she paused.

"But I was missing you, so I decided I would go home so I could ring you and see what had had happened with your Abeula and I thought I might make Lord T some pancakes cause he's been doing so well cutting down his cigerettes, hes only smoking 3 a day now! you really should ask him what he's doing to stop San cause you probably shouldnt smoke them either" Santana chuckled a bit and promised she would speak to him about it soon.

Then they lapsed once more into silence, Santana didn't say anything because she didn't want to push Brittany or scare her into not telling her at all. She needed her to know she could trust her. Brittany pressed a kiss to Santana's neck, lingering there for a minute just savouring the feeling incase the next few minutes caused Santana to run straight out of her life which Brittany was pretty sure was going to happen.

"So I decided to go home, I tried to tell people I was going but everyone was really drunk so I just went." Santana frowned.

"You walked home?" she asked. Brittany nodded. "But babe, Rachael's house is like a 40 minute walk from yours." Brittany nodded again.

"I know. I'm sorry." She said quietly. Santana opened her mouth to ask her why she was apologising but Brittany spoke before she could.

"Oh I forgot. At the party Puck and Finn were being mean to me for believing in magic." Santana's jaw clenched and she made a mental note to kick them both in the balls when she next saw them.

"And so when I was walking home I was thinking that it's silly that they make fun of me for believing in magic when they dont make fun of Mercedes or Quinn for believing in God and that's the same thing isnt it? I mean, both things made good and bad things happen and you can't see either of them. It's just that noone ever says magic WANTS them to do anything, but God has rules right? So if they believe in God why can't I believe in magic too?" She raised her eyes to Santanas for the first time since she had started speaking looking for clarification that her idea was right.

Santana smiled, Brittany was very right, in fact Santana decided in that moment she was the most intelligent person she knew.

"You are exactly right B, they are idiots and need to learn to accept your genius." she said. Brittanys eyes sparkled at this but as quickly as the sparkle had come it was gone again and she buried her head back into Santana's neck remembering what she needed to tell her.

"So I was walking and thinking and then there was a man there." She said, her voice much quieter than it had been before. "And he asked me what I was doing, so I told him I was going home." she said. "and he asked me why my boyfriend wasn't walking me home cause it was late. And I told him I didn't have a boyfriend." She took a shaky breath and kissed Santana's neck once more for reassurance before she took the plunge.

"And so I kept walking but he grabbed me." Santana felt her blood run cold, keep breathing Santana, keep breathing, she thought to herself. "and he was really strong. and I really tried to get away San, I swear but he was really really strong like superhuman strong." Santana felt her neck getting wet from Brittanys tears falling there. Santanas stomach turned waiting for Brittany to continue. "He took me into those woods, you know where our mums told us not to go when we were little cause there were bad people there?" she said.

Brittany remained silent and Santana realised she was waiting for a reply.

"Yeah B I know where you mean" she said so quietly she wasn't even sure wether she had said it but Brittany nodded her head and continued to speak, her voice sounded suprisingly calm but Santana could still feel the steady stream of tears on her neck so she knew that Brittany was just fighting through to tell her.

"He took my knickers off and he.. he.. made me have sex with him. And he really hurt me San, It still really hurts and he held his hand over my mouth so I couldnt shout for help and he made me bleed..and then he told me that if I told anyone he would come back and next time it would be worse.. and then he spat at me.. and I just lay there for ages until I could breath properly again cause I thought he'd broken me." Santana's stomach lurched again and she couldn't help it she pulled her arms from round Brittany and ran into the bathroom just making it to the toilet before violently throwing up.


	9. had I known how to save a life

She wiped her face and very very quickly rinsed her mouth out before taking a breath and returning to the bedroom.

Brittany was lying on her back in the center of Santana's bed, her arms thrown over her eyes. She wasn't sobbing but it was obvious from the gentle shaking of her body that she was still crying. Santana stopped just short of the bed and took a shuddering breath trying to process this.

What was she supposed to say? What was she supposed to do? It was hard to think rationally when she couldn't comprehend what she had just been told. How anyone could do that sort of thing to anyone was beyond Santana but how someone could do it to Brittany, _her_ Brittany, it just didn't make sense. It could never make sense. Brittany was so pure, so beautiful and so perfect in her outlook on life.

Brittany who hated violence in any form, who believed in magic, who believed that everyone was good inside, who believed that everyone should be forgiven no matter what. Brittany who took such a great deal of pleasure from the simplest things in life like dancing and going feeding the ducks and lying on the grass in the sun with the person you love. Brittany who appreciated everything around her. Brittany who loved unconditionally. Brittany who smiled all the time, who laughed with every fibre of her body.

Brittany who in the past 3 days had sunk into herself, who had been crying none stop, who had taken a razor to her skin to try and make the mental pain go away. Brittany who had had all that beautiful wonderful perfect happiness sapped out of her because of some twat.

Thats when Santana felt the anger rise, how dare someone take away her exceptionally unique, perfect view of the world. How dare someone hurt her in that way. Santana needed to find him, needed to kill him.

Brittany must have felt her standing there because then she spoke. "I'm sorry. Please don't hate me."

And with that every drop of anger dissipated and Santana was on the bed pulling Brittany into her arms.

"Don't you dare apologise." she whispered urgently. "I will never ever hate you."

Because right now Brittany didn't need Santana to hunt him down and murder him. She needed her best friend, her girlfriend, the woman who she would love for the rest of her life to hold her in her arms, to rock her and kiss her head and assure her that it would be ok, that she'd get through it, that _they_ would get through it and most importantly that she would never ever leave her.

So that is exactly what she did. She hugged her as they both cried, Santana's heart breaking for Brittany. Brittany crying half from the horror of what had happened half from the relief that Santana was still there wrapped tightly around her.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry" Santana whispered as she rocked her. Brittany didn't know why Santana was apologising, it wasn't like it was her fault but she knew if she questioned it it might make Santana feel bad so she just held onto her trying to let all the pain soak away and focus only on the girl holding onto her, focusing on the only person she was sure would keep her safe.

The minutes passed like that, the two of them tangled together silent tears falling from both of their eyes, the only words spoken were broken apologies from both girls neither of them really understanding what they meant by it. Santana knew they needed to talk about it further but she wasn't going to force that now, now was a time for Brittany to know that no matter what she'd always have her.

Santana shifted them both and lay Brittany down on her back and moved so she was hovering over her, their forheads pressed together.

"Brittany." she said causing Brittany to open her eyes. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me what happened. I am so so proud of you for finding the courage to tell me, you are far braver than I think I will ever be. I need you know that I will always be here." she told her softly. "forever, for the rest of our lives, I will keep loving you as fiercely as I always have, as I always did even before I found the strength to tell you. And you and I will do everything we can to make you feel better ok? No matter how long it takes, no matter what you need. Ok?" Brittany nodded against Santanas head.

"I love you Brittany. I will never let anything like this happen to you ever again. Even if that means never leaving your side till we die." she said and the honesty, the truth and the promise of that statement rang clear in Brittany's mind.

She knew Santana meant every word and for the first time since it had happened she felt a wave of calm rush over her, she didn't need to worry about him coming back, Santana would keep her safe. That she was sure of.

"Santana?" she said quietly, suprised her voice was still working after the worldwind of emotions she had felt over the last hour.

"Yeah baby?" came the reply, brown eyes gazing into blue trying to read the emotion she saw there.

"Can we go to sleep, I'm so tired." She whispered knowing she really needed to not feel so strongly for a few hours.

The fear of telling Santana, the memories she relived telling the story followed by the conclusion that Santana was going to leave her was one thing. But then suddenly the overwhelming sense of love that she was sure had burst her heart was too much for Brittany.

"Of course B." Santana said rolling onto her back then pulling Brittany on top of her.

"Go to sleep honey, I'll still be here when you wake up" she promised with a kiss to her head.

"Thank you San, I really really love you" she told her burying her head into Santana's chest getting herself comfortable.

"I know, I really really love you too."

Brittany fell asleep soon after that but Santana remained wide awake all night watching her girl sleep. She processed everything carefully deciding on the best way to handle everything. By the time the sun began to rise all that Santana knew was that Brittany had been the most important thing in her life since as far back as she could remember and she was sure she always would be and so it was Santanas job to make her as happy as she could. To get her through this.


	10. through the hard times and the good

At 7.15 Santana's mum knocked gentally on the door before pushing it open. Santana had finally drifted off to sleep and had Brittany cuddled close to her. She shook Santana gentally, careful not to wake Brittany. Santana opened her eyes and blinked at her mother.

"I'm sorry mija, but its time to get up for school" Santana nodded.

"Ok mum. We'll be out of the house in an hour I promise." Mrs Lopez nodded and left the room as her daughter began to press kisses to her girlfriend's head waking her as gentally as she could.

When Brittany was finally awake they sat facing each other on the bed their legs crossed. Santana was holding Brittany's hand in her lap.

"I know you probably don't want to talk about it baby, but I really need to ask you some questions." Santana said carefully. Brittany nodded.

"Ok baby, will you let me take you to a doctor? We don't have to tell them what happened but I think you need to get an STI test and a pregnancy test just in case." She said.

"Will you come with me?" she asked.

"Of course I will. We will go in lunch today yeah?" Brittany nodded sadly, she really didn't want to go but she knew she had to.

"Ok, the other thing I need to ask is did you recognise him? Was he someone you know?" Brittany shook her head. Santana put her fingers under her chin and tilted her head so she was looking at her.

"Are you sure Britt? Cause no matter what even if he made you promise not to tell anyone you know you can tell me" She urged. Brittany nodded.

"I'm sure San. I promise" She told her. Santana squeezed her hand

"Ok baby lets get ready for school yeah?" Brittany nodded then she laughed causing Santana to quirk her eyebrow at her.

"I've just realised I have as many clothes and shampoo and face wash here as I do at home" She explained. Santana smiled and wrapped her arms round her waist.

"That's cause we are madly in love and couldnt possibly risk the horror of being apart" She said dramatically causing Brittany to giggle.

"I love you San." she said

"I love you too Brittany" the reply came effortlessly and Brittany leant forward and kissed her properly for the first time since friday. When she pulled away Santana's eyes were still closed causing Brittany to feel a deep sense of pride that she could do that to the fiery Latina and she moved away getting dressed. When they got to school Santana took Brittany's hand in hers intent on showing her she would never let her go.

After everything she had been thinking about the evening before she knew Brittany needed her to be calm and to love her and not let her own emotions take over but as they walked into home room and she saw all the Glee kids sat talking happily she couldn't stop the anger that rose up in her. They had all been there on friday when Brittany had decided she was going to leave. They all knew how far Brittany's house was from Rachaels yet they had all been too drunk to stop her or even try and tell her it wasn't a good idea. They could have stopped this happening but they were too happy in their little drunk on wine coolers not even real liquour world. Why wouldn't they look out for her? What just cause Santana always did didn't mean they shouldn't too it made Santana question the strength of their friendships and she felt herself slipping back into that freshman year mentality that her and Britt only had each other in this god awful school.

Even Quinn, she was supposed to be their best friend where was she when Brittany was wandering the streets at night? Santana was so focused on trying to calm her rage that she didn't realise she had stopped walking.

"San?" Brittany said quietly. "Are you ok?" Santana nodded quickly.

"Yeah I'm fine babe." she assured her "Sorry" she added for good measure.

She sat in her usual seat but didn't let Brittany sit in hers she instead pulled her down in her lap and wrapped her arms round her. The glee club assumed this was to prove a point to Artie but really Santana needed Brittanys weight there to stop her getting up and punching every last one of them. Brittany eyed her carefully and Santana was pretty sure she knew what she was doing as she smiled slightly before snuggling herself further into her arms. Santana didn't contribute anything to the conversation she was busy thinking. She really needed to get a hold of these emotions it wasn't fair to Britt and really it wasn't fair to anyone else.

The bell rang and Brittany jumped off her lap then held out her hand for Santana to smiled and pulled Brittany out of the classroom to their first class. It took Quinn a long time to get Santana alone. She was even more determined than usual to spend every available second with Brittany but when Brittany went to a meeting just before lunch Quinn cornered her.

"You two seem a lot better than yesterday" she said. Santana nodded.

"We are fine" she answered bluntly really not wanting to talk to Quinn, finding herself more annoyed at her than anyone.

"Did you find out why she.. you know.." she asked. Santana nodded. "and..?" She pushed.

"I dont think its my place to tell you Quinn. Its personal." she said.

"Oh come on Santana I'm your best friend, Brittany doesnt mind you sharing things with your best friend" she said.

"No, SHE is my best friend and there is no way in hell I am ever doing anything that would upset her and I'm pretty damn sure telling you would upset her. But piece of advice Q? before you wander around all high and mighty like you do. Best friends keep an eye on each other, keep each other safe. and with that in mind you are no friend to Brittany." then she stalked off leaving Quinn so very confused.


	11. someday in time things will go my way

"You ready to do to the doctors?" Santana asked taking Brittany's hand in hers. Brittany nodded and tried to force a smile but she just couldn't quite manage it.

"You'll be ok Britt. I'll be right there." They drove there in silence, Santana kept looking over at Brittany who was staring intently out of the window. She hated having to force her into this but there was no way she couldn't go, especially after everything Quinn had been through, if there was any chance Brittany was pregnant they needed to parked the car at the walk in centre.

"Look at me Britt" she said gentally. Brittany brought her eyes to Santanas and the fear there made Santana's eyes well up.

Good going San, now you've probably scared her even more. Stop it. This is not about you. This is about making sure your girl is ok. Santana shook her head to try and remove her own fears.

"You will be fine. I am right here with you and no matter what I always will be here." Brittany nodded.

"I don't have to tell them do I? About what happened?" she asked quietly.

"No baby you don't. Hey your hot, your young noone is going to question why you need these tests ok. We will just pretend your a slut" she teased. She didn't even get a slight smile.

"It will be ok I promise baby." Brittany nodded

"Ok." Santana got out of the car and held the door open for Brittany.

"It will be ok" she repeated as Brittany paused at the door.

"I'm right here." They walked into the waiting room and Santana checked Brittany in trying to make everything easier for her. They didn't speak in the 10 minute wait but when the doctor called her name Santana saw Brittany's eyes widen and she grabbed Santana's hand tightly.

"Don't leave me" she said urgently getting up and walking towards the room the doctor had gone back into.

"Miss pierce, what can I do for you today?" he asked as Brittany walked in and sat down at the chair next to the desk. Santana remained stood at the door. Brittany shot her a look and Santana nodded encouraging her to speak to the doctor.

"I want an sti test and a pregnancy test" she said quietly.

"Ok Miss Pierce. I need to ask a couple of questions." She nodded.

"How long has it been since you had sex?" Brittany's brow furrowed but luckily Santana answered for her.

"Friday" she said

"Well in that case it is too late for the morning after pill. So I will need a urine sample to test for pregnancy" Brittany nodded again as the doctor labelled a cup.

"How many sexual partners have you had in the past 6 months?" he then asked. Brittany counted back on her fingers

"September" she said carefully.

"Yes since September" he clarified

"One" she said.

"Two Britt" Santana said gentally. Brittany turned round and looked at her a frown firmly placed on her face.

"But I haven't San I swear I wouldnt." she began.

"I know Britt, but remember the reason we are here. For friday" she explained as carefully as she could. She nodded but her eyes had welled up a little.

"Two" she told the doctor.

"Well we will do tests and everything should come back fine, but you should get any sexual partners checked for STI's to be sure." he explained carefully.

Once more Brittany turned to Santana, the doctor was beginning to see that the blonde girl appeared to need clarification from the Latina for everything he said.

"I'm good babe." she said looking between Brittany and the Doctor. Santana was still used to this whole being a out thing and she felt her face heat up but Brittany was still looking at her with that fear in her eyes

"Don't worry" she said.

"If miss pierce thinks she may have an sti and you have been sleeping with her you should get checked miss" Santana frowned, this man really needed to shut up, he was going to make Brittany confused and he was starting to piss her off, did he not think if she thought she had something she'd get herself checked rather than risking giving anything to her girl?

"Seriously. I'm good, I've been checked not that long ago I'm all clear." she said definitely.

"Well you should get your other sexual partner checked" the doctor said and Santana saw Brittany's sholders dropped. She quickly moved so she was stood directly behind her her hands on her sholders.

"Are we good doc? She just needs to pee in the pot and then we will know in a few days?" Santana asked rubbing her thumbs in circles across Brittany's sholders.

The doctor nodded eyeing up the blonde girl who was now crying.

"Yes. I will ring you with the results Miss Pierce." Brittany nodded looking down at the floor. Santana held out her hand.

"Come on baby" she said softly prompting Brittany to take her hand and leave the doctors office.

Once Brittany had given the receptionist her sample they walked back to Santanas car and Brittany broke down in tears. Santana reached over and took Brittany's hand in her own.

"You were so brave Britt, I am so proud of you." She said softly. Brittany brought her eyes up to Santanas. The sheer terror in her eyes was enough to make Santanas heart race in fear.

"I cheated on you didn't I?" She said so quietly Santana nearly missed it. Brittanys eyes shot away from Santana's face as her jaw dropped.

"What? No! Of course you didn't" she exclaimed horrified.

Brittany continued to look down at her hands, tears streaming steadily down her face. Then all of a sudden she lashed out at the dash in front of her.

"Woah!" Santana said climbing out of the car, she walked round to Brittany's side of the car and climbed in on top of her holding both Brittany's hands in her own. "Look at me Britt." she said firmly. Brittany looked up at her.

"You have NOT cheated on me, this is completely different. This is something horrible that has happened to you and the last thing I want is you getting upset about me ok? Let me take care of you." she told her.

"But it is cheating, you said that even though the plumbings different it IS cheating" Santana swore she felt her heart break at Brittany's innocence in that moment.

"Honey, its only cheating if you want to have sex with the other person. This man forced something upon you that you didn't want and you have beaten yourself up enough about it. You have done nothing wrong. I know you would never cheat on me. You love me right?" Brittany nodded "Well there you go you then that's all I need to know to trust you. And If I ever ever find this asshole who did this to you he is in for a world of pain. I promise you that. Noone hurts my girl and gets away with it." she said. Brittany smiled.

"I like it when you call me your girl" she said softly.

"Hmm? Good cause you're always going to be my girl" she said pressing a kiss to her lips.

"Thank you San."


	12. I'll get by with a little help

Santana moved to get up off Brittany but firm hands held her in place.

"Don't want you to get off" she murmered quietly.

"I don't want to either B, but we need to go back to school" She said glancing down at her watch.

"Do we have to?" She asked with a pout. Santana sighed not wanting to force Brittany into going back to school when she didn't want to but they couldn't afford to miss any more school if they wanted to get into college.

"I'm afraid so, but do you want me to stay at yours tonight?" she asked. Brittany nodded

"Please." Santana smiled and leant down to kiss her, Brittany hoped that if she kept kissing her they wouldn't have to go back but much too soon Santana pulled back and climbed back into the drivers seat.

When they got back to school Quinn rounded on them

"Where have you two been I've been looking everwhere for you" She said

"We went out for lunch problem?" Santana snapped trying to push past her.

"Look I know your angry at me Santana, but I dont know what I've done" Brittany looked questioningly at Santana

"Why are you mad at her?" She asked. Santana shook her head

"It's nothing Britt, don't worry about it" She said.

"It is something Santana and I think you need to tell me what I've done if you expect me to fix it." Quinn butted in.

"You can't fix it Quinn, it's already done and gone and you can't fix it anymore than I'll ever be able to" She said feeling herself get upset rather than her usual anger.

"What's wrong San?" Brittany asked. Santana shook her head but couldn't stop the tears.

"I'm sorry B, I took it out on Quinn but I shouldn't have. I thought it was her fault, for not looking after you when I'd asked her to, but its not is it. It's my fault. I should have been there I should have protected you. I'm your girlfriend for God's sake. Its my job!" Brittanys eyes widened. She had spent all this time feeling so guilty worrying what Santana would do when she found out, worrying she would leave her for letting it happen, worrying she would hate her.

Then today the realisation had dawned about the sex and that Santana might hate her for cheating but never had it crossed her mind that whilst Santana was reassuring her that it wasn't her fault, whilst she was holding her as she cried and kissing it better, whilst she was making sure she went to the doctors she blaming herself. How could she possibly think it was her fault?

If it wasn't for Santana Brittany didn't think she would have got as far as she had.

"You think its YOUR fault?" she asked shocked.

"Well of course it is. What the fuck is wrong with me?" Santana snapped. Brittany knew she was just angry at herself and not at Brittany but she still didnt like to hear her shout.

"You can't be with me, watching over me all the time San. It wasnt your fault, how could it possibly have been?" She said

"Yeah if I'd been there we would have gone home together wouldnt we? No problems." Brittany shook her head.

"Stop it San." she said firmly, more firmly than she had ever spoken to Santana in her life, except the time after Finn had outed her and she had told her to get her head out of her ass and face up to what was happening. Santana's eyes raised to meet hers.

"It was not your fault. Infact the only reason I am ok is because of you. So please dont think its your fault. And it's not Quinns fault or anyone elses in Glee ok?I love you and I love how much you protect me but this wasn't something you could have saved me from" Santana nodded.

"I'm sorry B, I know I have no right to be upset it happened to you not me but I just think about it and it breaks me cause I just love you so much I can't imagine why anyone would ever do that to you." Brittany smiled

"You're so perfect" she commented slowly letting Santana's words in, once again realising how hard this whole thing had affected Santana as well as herself. Then Quinn butted in.

"Will someone tell me what the hell has gone on" she exclaimed staring at the two girls who were lost for a moment in their own little bubble.

Santana looked up at Brittany and Brittany knew this had to be her call, it was reassuring to know that even in this moment when it was pretty obvious Quinn would have to be told about what was going on Santana was always going to keep her secret.

"Come on, lets go to the locker room I don't want to tell you about it out here" Brittany said lacing her fingers with Santanas and motioning for Quinn to follow them. When they got in there Santana and Brittany both sat on a bench and Quinn stood in front of them expectantly.

"You want me to tell her baby?" Santana asked trying her best to make it easier on Brittany but Brittany just shook her head.

"No, I can do it" She gave Quinn a very brief run through of the events and both girls watched as Quinns jaw dropped her hand flying up to cover her mouth.

"Oh Britt, I am so sorry, I should have listened when you said you were leaving I am so so sorry. Are you ok? Do you need anything?" Brittany shook her head.

"It's not your fault Quinn. And no, I'm fine, I've got San thats all I need to get through this." She told her truthfully.

Quinn moved forward and embraced her.

"If you ever need anything I am always here for you" she turned to face Santana "both of you."

Then she leant close to Santana's ear though both Quinn and Santana knew Brittany could hear every word.

"I'm so proud of you San, she is so lucky to have you." and with that Quinn was gone.

"I am lucky to have you" Brittany said turning to Santana.

Santana chuckled "No babe, I'm the lucky one."


	13. But the circle of fear is the same

**A/N I know I only updated this last night but I didn't feel well and couldn't sleep last night so slept longer than I should and instead of going to virology I thought I would continue with this. So enjoy :) BTW the reviews actually make my day thank you :) **

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><p>The rest of the day passed suprisingly quickly and soon enough they were in Santana's car making their way to Brittany;s house. As they walked in Ashley ran up and jumped at Brittany.<p>

"Come see this new show I've just found, you will love it!" She exclaimed Brittany chuckled.

"Sure Ash we'll come and see wont we San?" Santana nodded but then felt a hand on her sholder.

"Actually I was hoping Santana would help me with something" Mrs Pierce said.

"Oh right sure mum" Brittany said and Santana followed her into the kitchen.

"What's going on with my baby Santana?" she asked as she shut the door behind them. Santana looked down at her hands unsure of what to say.

"I know you know and I think as her mother it is my right to know what has got her, and you, so upset. Your mother rang me last night saying that Brittany was in a terrible state"

Santana's eyes widened what had her mother said? She was sure that if Brittany's mum knew about the cutting there would be a lot of serious consequences, probably involving therapy and involvement of the police, none of which Brittany would be too pleased with.

"I know its your right to know Mrs P, but I think its something you need to ask Britt about I don't think its my place to say anything" Mrs Pierce looked at the latina and could tell she was so desperately trying to do what was best for her girlfriend. She nodded

"Would you like me to ask her whilst you are here?" She asked.

"Yeah I think that would help Britt." Mrs Pierce nodded once more.

"Brittany could you come in here a second." She called into the corridor. Brittany came in a few seconds later closely followed by Ashley.

"Not you Ash, you go and watch some tv, I need to talk to your sister and Santana alone" her mum said firmly leaving no room for argument

"oooh you guys are in trouble!" She laughed running out of the room. Brittany looked at Santana her eyes wide with fear, had Santana told her mum? She didn't think she wanted her mum to know.

"Sit down would you Britt" her mum said. Brittany did as she was told and Santana moved to stand behind her resting her hands lightly on her sholders.

"The past few days I have seen that you have not been yourself. I have heard you crying every night since friday whether Santana has been here or not, and I had a frantic call from Santana the other afternoon practically begging me to let you stay at her house." She looked up at Santana

"I have never heard you sound so frightened Santana" she said. Santana nodded, thats because she had never been that frightened before. Seeing your girlfriend in the state she was in and not knowing what had caused it is fairly scary.

"So I asked Santana what was wrong" Brittany's eyes shot up to Santana she couldnt believe she would tell her mum. Why would she do that to her? Then she realised her mum hadnt finished speaking.

"Now Santana will not tell me which I can completely understand. but I am hoping, as your mother, you Brittany can trust me with whatever has been going on." Brittany looked at Santana hoping she would find the answer in her eyes but all she saw was worry.

"Mum can I talk to Santana alone quickly?" She asked, knowing she needed to know what Santana thought about the situation. Her mum nodded and exited the kitchen.

"What should I do?" She asked. Santana sighed slightly.

"Look B, you are alot closer to your mum than I have ever been to mine but in a stressful situation even I need to turn to my mami" she said carefully thinking about pouring her heart out to her mum on the day she had caught Brittany hurting herself.

"But if you are not sure, and you wait for the test results, and things are bad. Which I am not saying they will be at all. But if they are. That might force you into a decision" she explained. Brittany frowned.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"If you are pregnant babe, we will have to tell your parents. No matter what you decide to do about the situation they would need to know." she said.

Brittany nodded slowly, she knew she had done the pregnancy test and would get the results in the next few days but she hadn't actually entertained the idea of being pregnant. She felt panic rise up inside her but she tried her very hardest to push it back down, she did not want to break down however, being as observant as she was saw the flicker across Brittanys face and quickly pulled her into her arms.

"You won't be pregnant ok? So don't you worry. But even if you are you've got me ok? I'll look after you no matter what." Brittany nodded against Santanas chest.

"I don't want to tell her." She said very quietly.

"Well then you don't have to. Do you want me to talk to her?" she asked. Brittany shook her head.

"No, I will. Will you wait for me in my room?"

"Yeah of course baby, shout me if you need me." Santana went upstairs and sat down on Brittany's bed pulling her phone out. She had a couple of texts from Quinn. One apologising for her behaviour, Santana found this ironic as she was just about to text apologising for her own behaviour and another checking how Brittany was. She was half way through replying when Ashley came running into the room.

"What's up kiddo?" she said as Ashley dived into her arms.

"Mums shouting at Britt." she said her voice muffled from burying herself into Santana. Santana frowned. Mrs P, like Brittany, rarely got angry and rarely shouted but she supposed that if her daughter was upset and keeping something from her she would have shouted long before this. Then again she'll have Brittany to calm both her and the child down. Santanas eyes widened at that thought. As much as she had been telling Brittany she was in this for life that was the first time she had really thought about the future in that way. She had to say she quite liked she remembered the girl in her arms.

"Don't worry Ash." she cooed "Its just a misunderstanding, your mum and Britt will make up in no time" she said.

Ashley looked up at her with nothing but admiration in her eyes.

"Are you sure?" she asked

"Positive" Santana grinned. "Now should we go and play Mario Kart to take our minds of it?" Ashley nodded grinning. Mario Kart was the solution to all lifes problems in her mind, if only that were true for Brittany's current problems.


	14. I would have never known

10 minutes later Brittany stormed into Ashley's room where Santana and Ashley were playing. Santana got up straight away and pulled Brittany into her arms.

"You ok to play alone for a bit Ash?" Santana asked. She nodded not tearing her eyes away from the screen. Santana pulled Brittany out of the room and back into her own bedroom.

"You've got to go home." Brittany said pulling away from Santana.

"What? why?" Santana frowned she had never been asked to leave the Pierce household before, never ever.

"My mum is punishing me." She said simply. "It's like a family rule that we trust each other with everything and she thinks that cause you don't tell your Mami things it's rubbing off on me"

"Whaaaat?" Santana exclaimed . Brittany shrugged not quite meeting Santana

"I'm not allowed to have you stay over or me stay at yours for a week so I can learn that I can trust my family as well as you." She said sadly.

"Oh babe, you do trust your family! Did you explain to her that it was just this?"

"I tried! And I told her I had told Lord T and he counts as family but she just started shouting at me" Brittany looked down at her hands "She never shouts at me I don't even know what I have done wrong. I only don't want to tell her because it will upset her like it upset you."

Santana sighed, she understood Brittany's chain of thought and yes of course it would upset Mrs P the last thing anyone wants to hear is that someone has abused your child. Brittany shouldn't be punished especially since she had spent so much time torturing herself about it but Santana was starting to think the only way she wouldn't be was to tell her mum the truth.

"I need you to be here" Brittany said quietly. "I don't feel safe if you're not here"

Santana was flooded with the overwhelming need to protect the person she loved. She racked her brain for ways to sneak back into the house after everyone had gone to bed but she was unable to come up with anything except carrying a huge ladder all the way from her house to Brittany's.

"I know honey, but what if I ring you and stay on the phone all night whilst you sleep and if you wake up and you need me I'll be right there on the other end of the phone" Brittany nodded, it wasn't ideal but at least she could talk to Santana until she fell asleep.

"I really don't want to tell her San, I don't want to upset her. She's my mum and I love her so I don't want her to know."

Mrs Pierce was stood outside the room listening to the two girls talk, she knew she shouldn't be doing it and she felt ridiculously guilty but it was so unlike Brittany to behave this way and so unlike Brittany to hide things from her. Santana had taken a good 3 years of being in love before she could admit she was gay.

Brittany, however, had come home one day in freshman year and said as blunt as anything

"I think I'm in love with Santana, one day she's going to be my girlfriend."

When they heard about the ad airing Brittany had come home sat her mum down and reminded her of that very day then told her about the ad and how scared Santana was. She had sat and listened to her daughter calmly and carefully explain to her how she was madly in love with her best friend and how eventually like she had promised years ago, she was now her Pierce always assumed Brittany had done that because she knew she was in a safe environment, somewhere where whatever she said would be accepted and would not be judged so what was so different now?

"I know baby." Santana replied. "Your mum is just worried about you that's all, she probably thinks you're being bullied or you're not doing well at school and she wants you to be able to trust her. If you don't want to tell her you don't have to. If you decide to tell her she will be upset I can't lie to you about that but I can promise she will be there for you always just like I will be."

Brittany looked at Santana for a moment.

"It's just saying it out loud, it's so hard." Santana nodded

"Do you want me to tell her?" she asked. After a few seconds Brittany nodded.

"Come here baby" Santana said wrapping her arms round her. "It will be ok I promise. And as soon as the doctor gives you the results and everything is clear I'm going to take you out and I'm going to completely and utterly spoil you, just like you deserve" Brittany laughed.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too baby, now I better go and speak to your mum before she comes up here and chucks me out for being a bad influence on her perfect innocent daughter."

"She's always thought you were a bad influence" Brittany teased, both girls knowing this was the furthest thing from the truth.

"Yeah and you aren't as innocent as you make out, I'm pretty sure you initiated our first real sexual encounter Miss Pierce" She winked making Brittany giggle.

With that Mrs Pierce quickly made her way back downstairs not wanting to about her daughters sex life or B. risk Santana opening the door and catch her eavesdropping, that would take some explaining. As she walked downstairs she thought over what Santana had said about the doctors, was her little girl ill? Is that was it was? Was it depression? Brittany had been very very down recently or had she found a lump of some sort and gone to get it checked to make sure it wasn t the worst? Pregnancy and STI s never even crossed her mind, maybe it would have a year ago but now? Never. Brittany and Santana were in stable committed relationship, it had taken them so long to get there that neither would be willing to let anything ruin that.

Mrs Pierce had seen the way the girls looked at each other there was nothing but true love there, it had been more than affirmed by the look on Santana's face as she rocked a crying Brittany to sleep in her arms not 3 days ago. There was no point speculating, all that Mrs Pierce could do was stand in the kitchen and await the conversation with her daughter's girlfriend that she knew was coming. At least look a little shocked when she comes in here she thought to herself.


	15. at the end of the day

**A/N HAPPY ST PATRICK'S DAY! In celebration I thought I'd upload this chapter, its quite short but its just sort of a filler until the test results. I hope everyone is drinking lots today to celebrate :) thanks again for the reviews**

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><p>Less than 2 minutes later Santana walked into the kitchen slowly.<p>

"Urm Mrs P, I know you want me to leave and I will but before I do could I speak to you for a moment?" she asked. Mrs Pierce smiled, Santana was always very polite in front of her even before she was dating Brittany she never wanted to be seen as anything but good for Brittany.

"Of course Santana, you want to sit down?" she asked gesturing at the kitchen table. Santana nodded sitting down and playing with her fingers nervously. After a few minutes Mrs Pierce realised she was going to have to push Santana to speak.

"Santana, is there something you want to tell me?" she said gently. Santana nodded.

"Brittany would like me to tell you why she has been acting all weird. I told her I would but it's alot easier promising something when your girlfriend is crying in front of you than the actual task is" she said. Mrs Pierce nodded trying to think of the right way to encourage Santana but just as she opened her mouth to speak Santana lifted her head to meet her eyes and continued to speak "

You know Brittany went to that party on Friday?" she began, Mrs Pierce nodded. "Well because I wasn't there and everyone was really drunk Brittany decided she would walk home. And Oh God, it's all my fault I should have been there then I would have made sure she got home safe and I know you will hate me forever for not protecting me but.." she took a deep breath. "I don't think I can manage to go into detail it made me physically throw up when Brittany told me." She breathed again and then dropped the bombshell. "She got raped Mrs P. I am so sorry."

Both Santana and Mrs Pierce began to cry.

"Oh my poor baby" Mrs Pierce whispered.

Santana calmed down much quicker than Mrs Pierce did, afterall she had had alot more time to process this and she got to her feet.

"I know you will probably want to talk to Britt, so I will go home but I have done my best for her I swear, I've taken her to the doctors, shes had pregnancy and STI tests done , she will hear tomorrow probably. I really am sorry I couldn t protect her." Santanas words pulled Mrs Pierce out of her bubble.

"No Santana, don't go. She needs you." She said. Santana frowned.

"Do you not want to talk to her alone?" she asked. Mrs Pierce shook her head.

"If she wants to talk to me about it she will come and talk to me now that she knows I know. I think more than anything she needs you, she feels safe when she is with you. I feel like she is safe when she is with you. Please stay, make sure my baby gets through this?"

Santana didn't know why she did it but for the first time in her life she walked around the kitchen table and hugged Mrs Pierce tightly.

"I will I promise. "She said softly. Mrs Pierce smiled.

"I know sweetie, you have loved my little girl for as long and I can remember. And Santana, it was not your fault ok? Don't go blaming yourself." Santana nodded knowing she would never ever stop blaming herself and she was pretty sure Mrs Pierce knew that too, then she headed back upstairs.

"Your mum asked me to stay if thats ok with you" Santana said as she returned to Brittany's room. Brittany nodded.

"What did she say?" she asked urgently. Santana smiled slightly showing her it was ok, she wasn t mad.

"She was upset B, obviously because she loves you. She said if you ever want to talk about it you can but shes not going to push you to talk about it if you don't want. And she asked me to look after you" she finished.

"You always look after me San." Brittany said.

"I try my best baby. Do you think you will talk to her about it?" she asked. Brittany shrugged.

"I don't like talking about it" she admitted. "After the results from the doctors I just want to try and forget it." she told her. Santana nodded she could understand that, no point in dwelling on it if she could help it.

"Well you should hear tomorrow and then hopefully everything will be over" Brittany nodded, she felt like a weight had been lifted now that she wasn't hiding anything from her mother even if she hadn't been the one to tell her personally.

"You want to go and play Mario kart with Ash?" Santana suddenly asked. Brittany chuckled knowing Santana was dying to get back to beating her little sister.

"Sure lets go kick her butt."


	16. And everytime you smile I smile

"Brittany!"She rolled over, away from the source of noise and mumbled something incoherent. Santana laughed

"Come on Britt, we need to go to school" she said running her fingers through the blonde hair.

"Mdon't want" she said into the pillow.

"I know but we have to. If you get up now I'll make you pancakes for breakfast" Brittany forced her eyes open.

"We can have pancakes if we stay here too" Brittany argued.

"Yes but its glee today and if you get up I will sing for you, in front of all of glee club" Brittanys eyes widened

"Really?" she asked.

"Really really" Santana nodded.

"Wow San, you don't have to do that just cause...you know..." Santana shook her head viciously.

"This isn't about that babe I promise, this is just something I want to do for you, cause today is kind of an important day." she explained. Brittany frowned why was today special? Santana watched as Brittany scrunched her eyebrows adorably trying to figure out what she had missed.

"Don't hurt yourself Britt" Santana laughed "I'll tell you why its special if you promise after I have told you you will get out of bed" Brittany nodded.

"2 years ago today was the first time I ever told you I loved you in more than a friend you remember?"

Brittany smiled, of course she remembered. They had been getting their mack on, the way they used to, with no eye contact and no words and suddenly Santana had started crying. It had terrified Brittany. Santana had never shown any sort of emotion during or after sex before, this was new. Brittany remembered asking her what was wrong but Santana had just continued to sob in her she had eventually calmed down she pulled herself away from Brittany and started putting her clothes back on. When she had reached the door she had turned and looked Brittany straight in the eye and said "I am in love with you Brittany and its so fucking unfair" and with that she had gone.

For months Santana denied it had ever happened, it had been horrible for both of them. Both girls were very glad they had got past that stage in their lives especially with everything that had gone on recently. Thank god Santana had finally accepted who she was.

"Yeah I remember" Brittany finally said. "You left before I could tell you I was in love with you too." Santana smiled sadly and stroked Brittanys cheek.

"I know, but I'm here now and I am trying everything to make it up to you" she told her

"You don't have to make... "

"I know but I want to" Santana cut across her. "Now come and eat pancakes and we can go to school ok?"

It was at lunch time the call came from the doctors. Brittany had looked up at Santana with panic written all over her face. Santana took her hand and led her out of the busy lunch hall in silence.

"Answer it" she whispered. Brittany nodded leaning her head on Santana's sholder taking comfort from the arm draped loosely round her waist.

"Hello."

"Miss Pierce?"

"Yes?"

"We are pleased to inform you that all your results came back negative."

"What does that mean?"

"It means you are not pregnant and you have contracted no sexually transmitted infections, there were small traces of blood found but this usually isn't anything to worry about, it can be caused from say vigorous sex or just accidents but if you see any additional blood you should come back in"

Brittanys entire body relaxed against Santana's body and she knew it was good news.

"Thank you" Brittany said putting the phone down. Santana looked at her expectantly.

"He said I'm fine." Santana grinned pulling Brittany close to her.

"He said there was some blood but it wasn't anything to worry about." Santana squeezed her tightly and Brittany couldn't help but giggle as Santana muttered aggressively.

"Fucking bastard making you bleed, I'll fucking kill him" Brittany ran her hand up and down her back.

"Shush San, its fine, I'm ok, we can start trying to forget it now" she said. Santana pulled back.

"Of course B, whatever you need." She sighed "I'm so fucking relieved" she admitted a few tears escaping her eyes. Brittany smiled at her wiping the tears away.

"Well you don't have to worry anymore because I'm ok." She soothed. Santana nodded feeling crap, it was Brittany who had gone through all this yet once again Brittany was comforting her. She tried to shake the feeling and took Brittanys hand in hers.

"Come on lets go to glee, you will enjoy this." She told her with a smile.

They were the last to arrive at Glee and Mr Schue raised his eyebrows as if to say you want to sing but you are arriving late?

"Sorry Mr Schue Brittany had an important phone call to take." He nodded and gestured for the two of them to sit down.

"Now Santana I believe you wanted to perform for us today." She nodded and made her way back down in front of everyone.

"Ok so I'm not really into these extremely public displays of affection and it took me a long time to convince myself to sing this song so you lot best not make any comments or I will cut you" she threatened.

"Ok, ok Santana" Mr schue warned. Santana turned to Brittany.

"Britt, walking away from you two years ago was one of a number of stupid stupid mistakes I have made but it sticks out because you had been messing with my ipod and this song came on and I listened to it on repeat for about a month trying to will myself to take the advice but I just couldn't. I was a coward. So this is just me saying I'm sorry ok?" Brittany nodded.

Santana took a breath and nodded at Brad to start the music. As soon as she heard the first few beats Brittany squealed. Everyone elses jaws dropped and their eyes widened but that little noise Brittany had made was well worth the stares, hell she would sing every Taylor Swift song ever recorded if it made Brittany look at her like she was right at that moment.

As Santana sang Brittany thought back to two years ago when she ,like Santana, would listen to the song on repeat. She would dance round her room and listen to Taylor Swift tell which ever man she was singing about to jump and fall. Hoping and praying Santana would do the same. By the second chorus everyone had got up to dance and Santana made her way over to Brittany still singing, Brittany couldn't help laughing as Santana twirled her round smiling the whole time. When the song had finished she dived into Santana's arms. "Thank you San" she whispered into her ear.

"I love you so much Brittany" came the reply and for a few moments overflowing with happiness she forgot about the previous Friday night, maybe it was getting easier? maybe?


	17. you make loving easy

That evening they were lying in Brittany's bed.

"Thank you for what you did today San" Brittany said

"You don't need to thank me the smile on your face was well worth it" she told her honestly. Soon they were kissing just happy to be wrapped up in their little world. Santanas hands were running up and down Brittany's sides and when she slipped a hand under Brittany's cheerios top she felt Brittany's entire body tense up below her. She pulled her hand back without a seconds thought and leant back.

"Britt?" she questioned

"Sorry." Brittany said trying to fight the tears she could feel welling up behind her eyes which she had squeezed shut. Santana stroked her face.

"Hey, hey look at me sweetie" she said softly. Brittany opened her eyes and looked up at Santana who was hovering over her.

"Brittany, I will never ever hurt you ok. I promise." She told her making sure to keep eye contact so she wouldn't doubt her.

"And I will never make you do anything you don't want to do." She added. "So if you don't want to have sex for a while that is fine by me, I wasn't even thinking if I'm honest my hands were kind of working of their own accord" she cracked a smile.

"That's cause you can't resist me." She said quietly.

"Yep, you turned me into a lesbian babe" she teased, it had been an ongoing joke since Santana had finally admitted how she felt that she hadn't been born a lesbian it was just Brittany had turned her that way with her adorableness.

"You gonna be ok?" she asked. Brittany nodded.

"I just freaked out I don't know, its not you San i swear, i just .." she shrugged not really sure herself why she had stiffened up under the touch of the only person she had ever felt safe with, the only person who could make her relax with a single touch.

She needed Santana, she needed her love, her care if she was going to get through this and that meant getting past this. She would not be a wuss and push Santana away, she was going to push through it and make love to her girlfriend and hope and pray that whilst it happened it wouldn't be the horrific face of the man who had raped her she would see in her mind when it got to the time that keeping her eyes open was just not an option any more.

"I want to." Brittany said. Santana frowned.

"You want to what babe?" she asked

"Make love to me Santana, please. I think I need it." She told her. Santana just nodded and moved up off Brittany.

Brittany frowned wondering where she was going? Santana didn't run anymore, she wouldn't run away from her again. Just before the thoughts filled her mind of her disgusting Santana now or of Santana never wanting to have sex with her after that man had been in her Santana was back. She had removed her cheerios uniform leaving her in just her bra and knickers. She quickly, silently got Brittany into the same state of undress then straddled her hips. Santana leant down and brushed some of Brittany's hair behind her ear.

"You are so beautiful Britt, I mean really I would literally be content to stare at you all day. I'm going to show you how beautiful and perfect you are" she told her smiling slightly at Brittany's blush.

Then she began kissing her, softly at first but it escalated quickly just as they needed to breath Santana pulled back and began kissing along Brittany's jaw line and then down her neck and across to her ear.

"No one is ever going to hurt you like that again" she whispered her breath tickling the inside of Brittany's ear causing shiver after shiver to cascade down her spine.

"I love you Britt, I am going to look after you and keep you safe" then she returned to kissing her, worshiping every inch of skin and delighting in the little whimpers coming from her girlfriends mouth. She kissed down to her breasts before hooking an arm underneath her and swiftly undoing her bra so she could kiss even greater expanses of skin.

In between kisses she was whispering words of love and adoration, some things so sweet that Brittany was sure she was the luckiest person in the entire world. Santana kissed and kissed hoping she was giving Brittany the reassurance that she needed. That the sex between the two of them was founded on love and real depth of feeling not whatever sick urges that bastard had going on.

Eventually she reached the waistband of Brittany's knickers which Santana noticed were covered in frogs with the words "kiss me" across them. She smiled at the image and then looked up at Brittany searching her face, asking for permission. Brittany nodded with a smile and it was all Santana needed to slide them down her legs and off. Santana kissed her way back up Brittany's legs and then finally placed a chaste kiss right where Brittany needed it.

"Oh god San" Brittany moaned and she felt Santana smile against her before she stuck her tongue out and licked her purposefully slowly moaning as she did it.

"You taste so good baby" she said her lips still resting on Brittany's core making Brittany shiver in anticipation.

"San please" Brittany said her voice straining with need as Santana just rested there tracing idle patterned on Brittany's thighs. Santana nodded bringing herself lower and thrusting her tongue inside of her girl. She didn't want to use her hands fearful that the force of it might bring Brittany back to Friday night so she just used her tongue as much as she could and as she felt Brittany begin to twitch after a few minutes she knew what she needed. She brought her hand up just above where she was thrusting her tongue and rubbed hard.

Brittany clenched around her tongue which was still thrusting in and out and she screamed out Santana's name clutching her hair tightly. Santana continued licking and kissing until Brittany stopped twitching then crawled lazily up her body planting kisses all the way. When she reached Brittany's face she saw the tears in her eyes.

"You ok Britt? Did I hurt you?" she asked. Brittany smiled

"I'm fine, I'm just happy. I thought if we had sex I might have thought about him during it, but I didn't! Not at all. I just felt you and how you make me feel" she pulled Santana none too gently down onto her so she could kiss her some more. When they pulled back Brittany giggled.

"I love you" she told her.

"I love you too Brittany" Brittany let her hand travel down Santana's body and smirked at the gasp that escaped Santana's mouth as Brittany's fingers traced her core ever so softly. It wasn't long before the girls were fast asleep on top of the covers, completely naked and blissfully happy in each others arms.

Before she fell asleep Santana thought maybe things were getting easier for Brittany? Maybe?


	18. soul on fire

A few weeks passed with things returning pretty much to normal. Brittany had returned to being her usual bubbly self and things were looking had somehow convinced Santana that a fun way to spend her saturday would be to go shopping with Rachael and Kurt. How she had been roped into that was beyond Santana, well no it wasn't she knew exactly how it had happened, there had been a well timed pout followed by a well placed kiss and Santana was a goner.

As they walked through the mall Santana found that she was actually having fun, not that she would ever admit that to Berry , not ever. She had bought Brittany a slushie causing Rachael and Kurt to "aww" at her and gush over her thoughtfulness which had been quite irritating, she treated her girl well so what? No need to make a big deal out of it but other than that it had been a surprisingly fun day.

As much as Santana had had fun by the time it reached 5 o clock she wanted some alone time with her girlfriend so she politely suggested they go their separate ways. As they walked through the parking lot to their cars Rachael stared talking about how fantastic the day had been and how they should definitely do it again, often, maybe bring Quinn and Mercedes?Santana rolled her eyes at Brittany who gave her a play nicely look then turned and continued to listen to what Rachael was saying.

Kurt and Rachael said their goodbyes and started heading towards Rachaels car and Santana and Brittany approached Santanas car, that was when it of nowhere a man approached them from behind.

"Hello sweetheart" he said in a sickenly sweet voice directly behind Brittany and Santana. They both turned round and Santana felt Brittany dig her nails hard into Santana's hand. The man gave Santana the once over then turned his gaze to Brittany.

"Oh this makes a lot of sense, when I asked you if you had a boyfriend and you said no? You're fucking a woman! No wonder you enjoyed me so much." He leant a little closer "I think about you all the time, I cum at least 3 times a day thinking about your pretty little face." He said leaning forward to stroke her face.

"Don't you fucking dare touch her!" Santana said viciously slapping his hand away.

"Ooh this little bitch is you upset I fucked your pretty little girlfriend better than you ever could? Bet she gets off on it whilst she's with you" He snarled.

"Don't you dare talk about her you fucking bastard. Don't look at her , don't even think about her. I'm going to kill you for what you did." She shouted stepping forward in front of Brittany who had started to cry. The commotion cause Rachael and Kurt to come rushing back over to see what was going on.

"What you going to do darling? You can't protect her, no one can." He turned to look at Brittany. "I'll be back to see you soon sweetheart don't you worry about that." And he turned and strode away. Santana turned round quickly.

"You two." She said pointing at Kurt and Rachael "Don't leave her side ok? Not even for a second. Do you understand?" She both stared at her completely confused about what had just happened.

"Do you understand me?" she shouted with real urgency in her voice.

"Yes Santana, we won't leave her side we promise." Kurt said quickly and with that Santana turned and ran after the man.

"What is going on Brittany?" Rachael asked. Brittany just shook her head and cried.

"Leave her alone Rachael she is clearly distressed." Kurt said wrapping an arm round Brittany, but it was just not comforting to her it just emphasised the fact Santana wasn't there and that she was going to get hurt, he was going to hurt her!

"Dont let him hurt her" she managed to get out.

"He won't hurt her he's a respectable man hes not going to hurt anyone." Rachael bristled.

"He's a horrible man, hes going to hurt her, don't let him hurt her Kurt!" Brittany pleaded. Kurt looked over his sholder in the direction Santana had gone but he saw nothing.

Meanwhile Santana had caught up with the man just out of the parking lot.

"Hey asshole, don't walk away from me" she shouted after him. He turned round one eyebrow raised.

"You don't want to make this mistake darling, I'm not an enemy you want to make. Walk away." He told her calmly.

"That was never an option not after what you did to my girlfriend." She said.

"What I did to your girlfriend was fuck her good and proper like she needed." He stated as if he had done nothing wrong. Santana lunged forward and dug her nails into his testicles.

"What you did was rape the most perfect innocent beautiful woman in the world, what you did was unforgivable but luckily for her she has got me to look after her" he was wincing in pain by this point but he wasn't giving in to a high school kid that easily

"She needs a lot more than you keep her safe from this." He spat punching her hard in the face. Santana staggered back letting go of him in the process. He pushed her to the ground and leared over her.

"You're lucky I'm in a rush to be somewhere or I'd go and get that pretty little girl of yours and make you watch whilst I fuck her." he said very close to her face. Santana felt sick hearing him say things like that but she wasn't letting this man win, not after what he did to Brittany. With skill only many years of cheerleading had taught her she brought her leg back and kicked him hard between the legs and at the same time spat in his face. He yelping in pain.

"That was the worst mistake you have ever made. You better not let that girl out of your sight because I promise you the second you do I will have her again and this time she wont walk away so unscathed." He told her before limping away.

Santana lay on her back in the gravel and groaned as pain seared through her head. She put her hand up to feel the blood on her face coming from god knows where. Brittany's going to freak out when she sees this she thought. Shit Brittany is alone with Berry and Kurt! Santana hauled herself to her feet finally getting steady after a couple of attempts then headed back in the direction of the mall.


	19. We got the beat

**A/N This is just a short one mainly due to the fact I live in the north west of England and the sun is so rarely seen here and for the past few days it has been glorious so I am out enjoying it :D A longer update very soon :) The reviews are brilliant motivation so thank you very much (as is listening to Naya Rivera sing..oooh!) **

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><p>She tried to remove some of the blood looking at herself in car windows as she passed but it was no use the blood wasn't stopping and if she went somewhere to clean herself up Brittany would just get more worried. When she reached the parking lot she could see Rachael and Kurt shouting at each other.<p>

"We need to find out whats going on!" Rachael shouted

"No we don't we need to wait until she calms down or at least until Santana comes back." Kurt countered.

"But shes clearly a mess how could Santana just run off when she is like this?" Santana rolled her eyes at Berry's last comment, typical that she still believed that Brittany was just her play thing for her to bother with as and when she felt like.

Then Brittany looked up from the spot she had been staring at on the floor, it was almost as if she sensed her presence. She took one look at Rachael and Kurt still in heated debate and ran at full speed towards Santana throwing herself into her arms. Santana pulled her close to her chest holding the sobbing girl as tightly as she could.

"Shush shush" she cooed rubbing her hand up and down her back. "It's ok sweetie its fine." She whispered but she knew Brittany would be able to feel Santana's own tears dropping onto her neck. Rachael and Kurt finally realised Brittany was no longer beside them and had made their way over to them.

"Oh my gosh! What happened to you?" Rachael exclaimed. Brittany who had been too preoccupied with trying to get as close to Santana as possible hadn't really given a thought about Santana's appearance. She pulled back out of Santanas arms and looked at her head. She tentatively brought a hand up to where her face had hit the gravel nothing but concern in her eyes. Then without warning she span round to look at Rachael

"I **TOLD** you he was going to hurt her. I fucking told you and you said he wouldn't" she spat with more venom than any of them had ever seen from her. Rachaels eyes widened.

"I..I didn't know, how could I know..?" she stuttered.

"Shut your mouth Berry, you've already upset her do you want to make it worse?" Santana gently turned Brittany back round to face her.

"It's ok Brittany, I'm going to be fine and I made sure he didn't walk away unscathed." Brittany shook her head firmly.

"It's not ok!" she insisted "You got hurt because of me! That's not right I m supposed to be the only person who you can count on not hurting you." she explained. Santana smiled slightly.

"You didn't hurt me baby, that bastard did but only because _I_ provoked him because _I_ ran after him because I feel guilty I couldn t stop _you_ getting hurt in the first place." She told her. Brittany remained silent running her fingers over Santana's face, avoiding the deep gash. Santana ran her hands up and down Brittany's arms hoping to make at least one of them feel calmer.

"I think you need to tell us what is going on here!" Rachael said.

Santana's jaw clenched at the sound of Rachaels voice. Could she not see that Brittany was upset? That she herself was upset? Could she not give them a moment to draw comfort from each other. She looked at Rachael but didn't say anything this was on Britt.

"Brittany what is going on?" Rachael pushed. Brittany buried her face back into Santana's neck and shook her head.

"Just go home, both of you. Nothing will be achieved by involving more people in this." She told them

"But we want to help." Kurt said "In any way we can."

Brittany was still shaking her head and Santana momentarily looked away from Kurt and Rachael and down at Brittany.

"Britt I'm not going to tell them not worry." she whispered kissing the side of her head. Brittany responded by pressing her lips to Santana's neck.

"Look there really isn't anything you can do. I don't think there is anything anyone can do to help unless you can tell me who that bastard is?" Kurt nodded and turned to walked back to the car but Rachael stood frozen still.

"Wait you don't know who he is?" she asked

"Did I not just say that?" Santana snapped.

"But surely you two know him?" she pushed.

"Fucking hell Berry clearly we don't what are you getting at?" she asked getting more and more irritated with the hobbits presence.

"He's Micheal Souness, he's a big shot lawyer. He's really rather famous" Santana sighed a lawyer? That wasn't the greatest person to be dealing with in a situation like this was it. I bet he could get his way out of any situation she thought miserably.

"Wait why would Britt and I know that?" she asked

"Because he's the man who handles all the cheerleading scholarships from McKinley." Rachael told her.

"Fuck." Santana breathed pulling Brittany even closer to her.

Santana's parents could pay for her college education she knew that but Brittany's college application depended on a cheerleading scholarship, thats why they had joined cheerios in the first place. How did she ever expect to get a scholarship when then man dealing with her application had raped her then been kicked in the balls by her girlfriend. Oh what have you done Santana?

She couldn't think of anything to say she just kept her arms tightly round Brittany, her lips pressed against her temple as she watched Rachael walked away.

"Fuck!" she exclaimed louder this time. Then she took a breath.

"Come on baby, lets go home."


	20. I will always love you

Brittany didn't speak all the way home. Santana pulled up to Brittany's house and turned to Brittany

"Can I come in?" she asked. Brittany shrugged

"If you want." she muttered miserably. Santana shut off the car and followed Brittany into the house and up the stairs to Brittany's room. She stood by the door and watched as Brittany threw herself down on her bed throwing her arms across her eyes.

"It's going to be ok." Santana said quietly. Brittany removed her arms from her eyes and glared at Santana.

"How is it possibly going to be ok?" she spat. "He has my entire future in his hands. It would have been fine, what happened might have actually helped me! But you had to go and attack him!" she shouted sitting up now. "I'm not going to be able to go to college now because you can't help but have a fight at every opportunity!"

Santana couldn t believe what she was hearing. How could she possibly think that being raped could have helped her college application? Santana forced her anger down inside her body, she would not shout at Brittany especially if Brittany felt this was Santana's fault.

"Brittany, honey, what happened to you would not have helped! He would have kept doing it, trying to force you into having sex with him saying if you didn't he wouldn't let you go. He would have complete control over you."

A flicker of realisation crossed Brittany's face and Santana took a couple of steps towards her.

"I'm sorry for losing my head and running after him but he threatened to do it again babe and I was scared for you sweetie. I'm meant to protect you. I couldn't protect you the first time, I was just trying to stop it happening again." Brittany held her hand out and Santana allowed herself to be pulled down onto the bed. Brittany buried her face in Santana's neck.

"Its not your fault" she whispered "I'm sorry I'm just so worried, I need to go to college I can't stay here so far away from you." Santana brought Brittanys hand up to her mouth and kissed it.

"We will fix it baby. Next year we will be in the same city I promise." Brittany frowned

"You don't know that San you can't be sure we will be able to fix this, you heard Rachael hes a lawyer!" Santana nodded.

"I know, I can't promise that we will get him. I will try my hardest to get the bastard behind bars but if we can't and if we can't find some way to get you into college I am going to stay here with you." Brittany pulled back.

"What? No you can't not go to college because of me!" she exclaimed.

"Come on Britt like you wouldn't do the same for me? "she said

"You can't give up your dreams and stay stuck in Lima because of me." She pushed.

"I can and I will there is nothing you can do to stop me." She said but Brittany was equally as determined.

"I will leave you if you stay here for me." She countered Santana shrugged

"Don't care. I'd still be near you." Brittany sighed

"San you really can't its not fair what about all your hopes and dreams?" Santana's face softened

"Britt, every single one of my hopes and dreams begins and ends with you. But if this worries you so much we will just have to get that bastard behind bars wont we?" Brittany nodded and let Santana pull her close once more.

"I really love you Brittany." She felt Brittany smile against her neck

"I think you've just proved that. I'm sorry I accused you of causing this I was just upset." Santana ran her hands up and down her back.

"I know you've already apologised. It's fine."

"What are we going to do?" she asked. Santana took a breath, this was the difficult bit she didn't want to tell Brittany what he had threatened her which meant she couldn't leave Brittany's side until this was over which meant they needed help. They couldn't take this on by themselves.

"I think we are going to have to tell your mum and then if you can manage it tell my mum, she's a lawyer too and she's our best bet at getting him put away. Unless you'd prefer me to kill him myself?" she said

"No! I don't want you to go near him ever again." She brought her hand up to the cut on Santana's head which thankfully had stopped bleeding, hopefully avoiding a trip to hospital.

"I don't want him to touch either of us ever again." Santana nodded tightening her grip on Brittany, she certainly did not want him touching her girl ever again.

"Can we talk to them both together?" Brittany asked "I don't know whether I could cope with the emotions of telling them separately" she confessed.

"Yeah of course, whatever is easier for you. You want me to get my mum to come here?" Brittany nodded and Santana got her phone out.

"Mami? Hola. I was wondering if there was any chance you could come round to Britt's tonight, we need to talk to you and Mrs P. No Mami don't be stupid how is that even possible? Exactly. We just need your help ok? We will tell you when you get here. Thank you. Urmm 8? See you later." Brittany raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"Yeah she said she would come by at 8, your mum will be home by then yeah?" Brittany nodded. "She asked me if one of us was pregnant, she loco." Brittany giggled Santana always slipped into slight Spanish mode when she had spoke to one of her family members. Just at that moment there was a knock at Brittany's bedroom door, neither girl had even heard Mrs Pierce come home.

"Come in!" they both shouted Brittany shook her head at Santana

"Since when is this your bedroom?" Brittany asked

"Hmm I'm pretty sure I won it in a bet when we were 8." she said sticking her tongue out at Brittany fondly remembering the day she had claimed Brittany's room as her own after a particularly intense series of arm wrestles, Brittany maintained to that day she had let Santana win but Santana was having none of it. She still had her tongue out as Mrs Pierce entered the room.

"I will never get over how mature you are Santana." she quipped and Santana just moved so her tongue was sticking out at Mrs Pierce rather than Brittany.

"Nice.." Mrs Pierce said pulling a face causing Santana to laugh.

"What would you girls like to eat?" she asked.

"Whatever's going mum." Brittany said.

"Well I'm going to the shop so is there anything you fancy?" she asked

"Spag bol!" Santana exclaimed

"Again?" both pierce women asked

"What its my favourite!" she defended "Fine fine, you two pick I was just offering my opinion." She said folding her arms across her chest like a sulking child.

"Get her spag bol mum, she'll just sulk all night otherwise." Mrs Pierce nodded

"Ok spag bol it is." she agreed.

"Yeyyy! You are my two favourite people ever!" she exclaimed. As Mrs Pierce turned to leave the room Brittany stopped her

"Mum is it ok if San's mum comes round later we need to talk to you." Mrs Pierce frowned and turned round

"You two haven't eloped have you?" both girls laughed

"Oh my God we should so do that!" Brittany exclaimed

"No!" Mrs Pierce all but shouted "No! At least finish school before you get married, please!" Santana couldn't help but feel sorry for Mrs Pierce she sounded so worried.

"Don't worry Mrs P we aren't going to get married yet. I can't afford to buy her a ring yet." she said winking at Brittany. Mrs pierce smiled she knew Santana was sensible enough to wait until after college when they had jobs to have a wedding.

"Ok well thats fine then what time is she coming?" she asked

"8 ish?" She nodded wondering exactly what was going on leaving the room as Brittany pounced on Santana giddy at the thought of recieveing an expensive engagement ring one day.


	21. memories sharp as daggers

Brittany and Santana were lying on the couch watching tv when the doorbell rang. Santana rolled over on to her back and looked up at Brittany.

"You ready for this?" she asked. Brittany nodded and smiled but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Santana leant forward and kissed her as Mrs Pierce answered the door.

"Honestly Santana get a room!" Santana pulled back and looked up at her mum.

"We're in one you're just intruding." Brittany and Mrs Pierce laughed and Brittany pulled Santana up so she was sitting.

"So dare I ask why we have been summoned here?" she said sitting down in an arm chair, Mrs Pierce who at least had a little bit more knowledge of the situation sat on the end of the couch the two girls were on.

"Ok. Well some of this Britt's mum already knows so Mami do you remember a few weeks ago when Britt and I came home and we were both really upset?" she said hoping and praying her mum wouldn't reveal to Mrs Pierce what Santana had told her. Thankfully Mrs Lopez just nodded.

"Well." Santana glanced at Brittany who just nodded sliding her hand into Santana's. "It was because, cutting a long horrible horrible story short for everyone's sake, Britt got raped."

Mrs Lopez eyes widened and Santana watched her swallow down the bile that had risen in her throat, typical that she would have the exact same reaction as Santana when hearing the news, well except Santana couldn't keep it down and had had to run out of the room leaving her girlfriend to worry by herself. It wasn't often she thought it but in that moment watching her mother rapidly compose herself Santana wished she was more like her.

"Brittany, I'm so so there is anything you need.." she trailed off knowing that whatever the girl needed would be provided by the other two people in the room. Brittany smiled some what shyly at Mrs Lopez.

"It's ok. It wasn't your fault you don't need to apologise."

Santana paused for a moment watching as her mums eyes shot to Mrs Pierce, it took Santana a moment to realise she was conveying some sort of silent message. A message of pain and sorrow and apology, a message that could only be passed from one mother to another a message that in its most simple form said I don't know how I would have coped if it had happened to my child. Then once she had passed her messages to Brittany and her mother Mrs Lopez' eyes fell on her daughter completely unsure of what she should say to her because this had obviously affected all three women in front of Mrs Lopez and not one of them would ever understand truly how it had affected the others.

Santana smiled slightly at her mum and they both knew they needed to have a conversation in private about it so that neither Brittany or Mrs Pierce would get upset.

"Anyway, today we went to the mall with man hands and lady face.."

"Santana don't be mean!" Santana shot Brittany an apologetic smile

"Sorry" she mumbled causing both older women to grin at sheer control a kind and gentle girl like Brittany had over the infamous Santana 'badass' Lopez. Santana looked back towards hers and Brittany's mums.

"We went to the mall with Rachael and Kurt and we were about to come home and. Wait... Before I tell you, you have to promise I won't get in trouble or like grounded or anything." Mrs Lopez quirked an eyebrow.

"Well that all depends on what you have done Santana, tell us." Santana sighed quickly realising she might get in trouble for her rash actions earlier on in the day.

"He was there." Mrs Pierce's eyes widened in fear she looked at her daughter praying silently to God he hadn't done the same thing again. "and he came up to us, well to Britt actually." Santana continued.

"And he was saying stuff that he shouldn't have been saying Mami." Mrs Pierce realised that though they wanted her present Santana's speech was aimed directly at her mother and she seemed terrified of what her mum was going to do, maybe beneath all the bravado she was scared of what her mother thought about her and her decisions in life.

"What did he say honey?" she asked softly clearly noticing the fear in her daughters voice.

"Well he started off saying shit..sorry urm stuff.. about us being well together you know." She said looking down at her fingers tightly linked around Brittanys. Her mother nodded.

"Ok and then what?" she pushed knowing if she didn't Santana would never get it out.

"He started saying that Britt had enjoyed it and that he got himself off thinking about what he did." Santana said unable to look anywhere near Mrs Pierce feeling she had let her down some how.

"Oh God." Mrs Pierce mumbled under her breath and Mrs Lopez moved to sit on the arm of the couch so she could put an arm round Mrs Pierce.

"Then what happened?" she asked. Santana looked at Brittany whose tears had welled swallowed trying to fight back her own tears so she could continue the story, so that Britt could get some help. Brittany squeezed her hand and knowing that she was trying to make Santana feel better when it was her hurting gave Santana the strength to carry on.

"He told her he was going to do it again." Then both Mrs Pierce and Santana couldn't hold back their tears anymore which just made Brittany cry harder, the whole situation overwhelmed Mrs Lopez a bit, sure she was used to scenes like this from her clients when she was trying to put a case together but she was not used to it from her own daughter, from her daughters girlfriend a wonderful young woman who she had come to love very much or from a mother clearly heart broken from the pain her daughter was feeling.

Mrs Lopez's eyes lingered on Mrs Pierce a woman nearly as happy and carefree as her eldest daughter and she was filled with an overwhelming respect for the woman. Then Santana started to speak again, fast and urgent this time, trying desperately to implore that she didn't mean for things to happen the way they did.

"I just got so mad mami, I mean knowing what he had done and him saying he was going to do it again I just lost it. I mean I love her, you know how much I love her and I can't ever let anything like this happen again I can't" she nodded she understood that Santana's feelings for Brittany were the deepest feelings her daughter felt, the deepest she had ever felt and the deepest she ever would.

"So I chased him."

Mrs Lopez knew that Santana would have lashed out in some way that was the way she always reacted, she always had since she was a little that either she or her husband had tried had subdued this anger that came out of nowhere. When Santana was growing up she sometimes worried she would never be calm. Then one day Santana had come home from school, she had her tea without kicking up a fuss, she played with her brother had a bath and went to bed all without a fuss. Mrs Lopez had spent the evening sharing looks of disbelief with her husband, he had even suggested she was ill in some way and that they should get her checked out.

That night as she had tucked her daughter into bed, a treat she rarely got to do due to her aggressive nature she asked her if she had had a nice day. Santana had just nodded sleep taking over her.

"I made a new friend." she said. Mrs Lopez had raised her eyebrows because Santana wasn't one for friends she generally like to tell her peers what to do because they weren't good enough to be her friend.

"She's called Brittany, can she come and play?" Mrs Lopez had just nodded shocked that this girl could have gotten the response she had out of her daughter. From that day the girls had been course Santana's anger had come back in full force, especially when she started high school but when ever Brittany was around it just floated 's why the lesbian bombshell hadn't turned out to be that much of a bombshell. Afterall who else could she have ever fallen in love with except the girl who had taken all that anger away? Mrs Lopez smiled at the memory causing Santana to frown but she continued with her story.

"I caught up with him and we shouted at each other then he hit me and I fell to the ground and hit my head" she said pulling back her hair showing her mum the cut on her head, it wasn't too deep but it was painful. "and I kicked him and then he told me I had made a mistake. Which before you say it I know I did but I was just so mad and then he ran off." Mrs Lopez opened her mouth to tell Santana she wasn't mad at her, that infact she was proud of her for the amount of passion she had towards her girlfriend but Santana continued speaking.

"So I went back to check Britt was ok and man hands. Sorry B, Rachael, started chatting on and I was hurting and B was hurting and I nearly bloody hit her as well but then she told me who he was." Mrs Pierce's eyes shot to Santana.

"You know who did this?" she asked. Santana nodded and brought her eyes up to her mothers once more.

"It was Michael Souness" Mrs Pierce stared at her blankly but Mrs Lopez eyes widened.

"Shit." She muttered. "You two know who he is then and what both his jobs are?" Santana and Brittany both nodded.

"That's why we need you to help mami." Mrs Lopez nodded knowing just how tough this was going to be.

"Santana why don't you and Brittany go upstairs, calm down a little bit whilst I explain to Britt's mum who he is and what he does." Santana nodded pulling Brittany to her feet.

"Thank you mami." She said quietly. Mrs Lopez nodded then put her hand on Brittany's arm as they walked towards the stairs.

"I'm going to do everything I can to get him Brittany. I promise." She told her softly.

"Thanks Mrs L." Brittany let go of Santana's hand and flung her arms round Mrs Lopez, she didn't know why she did it, much like Santana didn't know why she had hugged Mrs Pierce a few weeks ago but she knew she needed to. Mrs Lopez hugged her back meeting Santana's eyes over her shoulder telling her to stay calm, it was going to be alright then the two girls headed upstairs.


	22. my love is your love your love is mine

**A/N Hey Hey, sorry it's been so long, I have had loads and loads of work to do, I still do I really need to work on my time management. Anyway sorry it's short, thank you for the reviews, will hopefully be updating my other stories over the next 2 days too. fingers crossed. **

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><p>"Britt are you ok?" Santana said sitting on the chair by the desk wanting to give Brittany her space. She nodded<p>

"Yeah I just don't like seeing my mom so upset." Santana nodded

"I know, but don't worry now that my mom knows we can start trying to sort it." She said softly.

"It's just not fair, it was fine, it was going away and I wasn't even thinking about it anymore. Why did he have to be there today?" she exclaimed suddenly. Santana stood up and moved to sit on the bed next to Brittany.

"I know honey, it's completely not fair but it will be ok I promise." They fell silent for a moment.

"What if he does it again?" she whispered quietly. That was Santana's biggest fear, not that Brittany wouldn't be able to go to college cause there were always other ways but that he would somehow manage to get to her to do it again.

"I won't let him." Santana said firmly.

"You can't know that you can't be with me all the time San." Brittany said.

"I can and I will if that is what it takes. Plus you know how fierce my mom is, she will get him and she will destroy the bastard. I know I complain about her alot but she's pretty damn amazing." Santana told Brittany getting a smile out of her girl.

"Yeah she is, you are just like her." Brittany complimented.

"What do you want to do then whilst we wait for our moms to talk?" she asked.

"Do you remember when we liked everything on Finns facebook and left comments and it really annoyed Rachel?" Santana nodded laughing, that was so much fun!

"Can we do that again, I think it will cheer me up" she said with an evil smile.

"I can't believe everyone thinks you are so innocent. You are evil Miss Pierce." Santana laughed

"Is that a no?" she pouted

"That is a hell yes, I love evil Brittany!" she told her pulling Brittany's laptop towards her.

"My facebook or yours?" she asked

"Mine, its more fun that way cause it confuses her." Santana nodded in agreement and typed Brittanys password in. The girls were still making comments and winding Rachel up 20 minutes later when Mrs Lopez and Mrs Pierce came to the door. They could hear the girls giggling as they knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Brittany shouted

"That was a quick reply usually there is a mad scramble for them to get their clothes on." Mrs Pierce whispered as Mrs Lopez laughed opening the door.

"What are you doing?" Mrs Lopez asked quirking an eyebrow at Brittany sat typing and Santana clutching her stomach laughing.

"I'm just talking to Finn." Brittany said innocently.

"Whats wrong with her?" Mrs Lopez said pointing at her daughter. Santana narrowed her eyes at at mother

"Her has a name you know. And nothing is wrong with me but I think Brittany's made Berry think her boyfriend is cheating on her with me which is hilarious." Mrs Pierce frowned

"Thats not very nice Brittany." she said. Brittany shrugged

"She knows I'm only joking." she said before shutting the laptop and turning to face her mom. Both girls looked at the older women expectantly and Mrs Lopez started to speak.

"So we have spoken about the situation and we know where it stands, I believe the only way we are going to be able to get out of this and get Brittany into college is by putting him behind bars." Santana nodded in agreement with her mother. "But that will mean talking to the police Brittany."

Brittany's eye widened it was bad enough telling everyone she had already told never mind strangers that would be judging her and questioning her.

"Can San come with me?" she asked quietly. Mrs Lopez shook her head.

"If Santana came with you she might be accused of bending the truth because she is obviously biased towards you." Brittany turned and frowned at Santana confused by what Mrs Lopez had said

"She means that cause I love you I'm always going to be on your side even if you had done something wrong so the police might think I'm making things up to protect you." Brittany nodded.

"Plus what with Santana assaulting him, she may need to be interviewed separately somewhere along the line." Santana sighed damn her lack of control over her temper, she was always getting herself into trouble and consequently making things worse for Britt. She mentally kicked herself but nodded at her mother telling her she understood she had to face up to her actions.

"San." Brittany said snapping her attention away from her mother.

"Yeah baby?" she asked turning to look at Brittany

"I don't think I can do it" she said quietly. Santana took hold of her hands.

"Yes you can. I will be waiting for you right outside for as soon as you are done you just need to tell them everything you remember and it will be over in no time. They aren't going to make you tell them anything that you don't want to." She told her. Brittany's hands shook a little bit and Santana could tell she was terrified.

"I don't need to go to college, it's not like I'm smart, I'll just get a job." Santana shook her head.

"Hey don't talk like that. Listen you are so unbelievably talented and one day you are going to be a world famous choreographer and I am going to be so proud of you but you need to go to college to get your qualifications and to do showcases that will demonstrate to everyone what I already know. I will be there every single step of the way honey I promise. You can tell the police what happened I know you can cause I know you want your dreams to come true as much as I do." Brittany nodded

"Ok, I just wish you could be there to help me remember what happened its easier when your there." Santana nodded

"I know I know" she whispering lifting Brittany's hand to her mouth and kissing each finger in turn.

Mrs Lopez smiled at how far her daughter had really come over the past few years she was so proud of her. She was in an adult relationship, dealing with things no couple should have to deal with and she was doing it magnificently. Over the years she had always wondered how her daughter had got so lucky as to have a best friend, then more recently a girlfriend as brilliant as Brittany, she truely did encompass all that was good in the world. This evening had taught her that maybe it wasn't as one sided as she had always believed and that she should have more faith in her daughter. Brittany was really lucky she had her to help her get through this.

"I know it's not the same Brittany, but even though Santana can't be in the interview with you, I can." Both girls had forgotten their moms were there.

"Really?" Brittany asked. Mrs Lopez nodded.

"I will be your legal representation if you would like? And I will be there with you the whole time." Brittany smiled

"Thank you Mrs L." she said quietly.

"That's ok. We will go in the morning. Are you coming home San or are you staying here?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Can I stay here?" both mothers nodded.

"Ok night girls" Mrs Lopez said

"Night mami." Santana said with a smile. She waited until the door closed before pulling Brittany towards her and whispering every word of reassurance she could think of. Tomorrow was going to be hard for Brittany she knew that but tonight she was going to make sure she had a good nights sleep and that if she needed anything at all she would get it.


	23. baby please don't let me go

The morning came much too quickly for Brittany and when she woke up she buried herself further underneath Santana, moving carefully so she didn't wake her up. She knew if Santana woke up they would have to get out of bed and face the day but Brittany knew Santana well and she knew that with a warm body beneath her, specifically Brittany's warm body and the blackout curtains firmly shut there was very little in the world that would bring Santana out of her slumber and for the first time in a long time Brittany was thankful for that.

Unfortunately for Brittany her mother had other ideas and not 20 minutes later there was a soft knock on the bedroom door and Mrs Pierce entered.

"Morning sweetheart." she said quietly.

"Morning Mom." Brittany replied at a normal volume, she didn't understand why after all these years her mother hadn't learnt that she could come in shouting and Santana still wouldn't wake up.

"I'm sorry to do this but Santana's mom wants to get this done earlier on today, I think she thinks it might take a long time." She explained. Brittany nodded.

"I'm scared." She admitted

"I know, but you will be ok I promise. I will be right outside waiting for you. And you_ know_ that Santana will be right there next to me." Brittany nodded

"I know." she said smiling down at the girl asleep on top of her.

"Listen Brittany, I know when the two of you first started dating I was a little dubious about whether Santana was what was best for you. I have always known she was a wonderful best friend to you but I was a little scared of her breaking your heart just because she is so confident and so sure of what she wants in life.I didn't know whether you'd be left behind. But everything I have seen from her after what happened I am left in no doubt. She is wonderful for you and I'll tell you a secret, I can't wait until the two of you get married and start a family because I'm sure thats what is going to happen." Brittany beamed

"Thanks mom." Her mother nodded in acknowledgement

"It will be ok today. I will make you breakfast come down soon?"

As Mrs Pierce closed the bedroom door Brittany felt Santana kiss her neck.

"Your mom loves me." she mumbled.

"I know she wants us to have babies." Brittany teased.

"Not till after college, I want you to myself for a bit first before our beautiful perfect babies take all our attention." she told her still half asleep.

"You are too cute." Brittany laughed tickling her sides. "Come lets get up my mom is making breakfast." Santana nodded and rolled off Brittany. As the reached Brittany's bedroom door Santana grabbed her wrist and brought it to her lips to kiss.

"I love you Brittany." She said simply and those four words were all she needed.

She knew what Santana wanted to say she knew it was a combination of I can't believe any of this has happened, I'm sorry for losing my temper with the bastard, I will be waiting right outside and I will always love you and never leave you. The gentle kiss and the declaration of love said all of those things and Brittany smiled.

"I love you too Santana."

Breakfast consisted of listening to Ashley tell an incredibly long story which appeared to have no real point to it all in all but Brittany was glad because it finally took the focus away from her and what was going on. Brittany's father watched on anxiously, Brittany could tell her mom had filled him in on what had happened but she also knew that though he would always be there for her it was not something he would ever bring up, that was too difficult for him.

He had had a hard enough time when Brittany had started dating, he still found the knowledge that his little girl was having sex on a regular basis a difficult thing to deal with so the fact that this had happened was something he couldn t dwell on for too long or he would snap. Instead he focuses on the knowledge that his little girl is well looked after and he slips his sausages onto her plate for good measure, his way of telling her all the things Santana and his wife had been saying since it all happened. The dazzleing smile he got in return let him know that his daughter had understood his intentions.

Soon enough breakfast was finished and Brittany and Santana were dressed.

"It's a good job we can wear each other's clothes." Santana said snapping Brittany out of her thoughts.

"Yeah cause otherwise you would have to wear your own clothes every now and then." Brittany teased causing Santana to stick her tongue out.

"I just like your clothes more, is that a problem? Anyway we both know that hoodie you have on is mine so you are as bad as me." Brittany shrugged

"I've had this hoodie for years it's practically mine now anyway." She argued. Santana laughed and peck Brittany's lips

"What's mine is yours baby." she said with a smile then nodded towards the door indicating they needed to go.

Brittany was glad to see Mrs Lopez waiting outside the Police department, the last thing she wanted was to have to spend any time with the cops alone. She had visions of them asking her questions that she didn t know how to answer and her telling them about Lord Tubbington's habits and getting him locked up. She really didn't want that. Worse than that she was scared she might get Santana in trouble for fighting. Then she started to panic what if she got both Lord T and Santana in trouble, and they were locked away forever and it was all her fault.

Santana must have felt her getting worked up because all of a sudden she wrapped her arms tightly round her waist and whispered "Breath baby" in her ear. Brittany took a few calming breaths and Santana pulled back to look into her eyes.

"Everything is going to be fine, you did nothing wrong. This bastard needs to be put away for your safety and for the safety of other people he might do this to." She told her evenly.

"But what if .. "

Santana shook her head firmly.

"What if nothing. Everything will be fine. My mami will be right there with you and she will look after you just as well as anyone could I promise you that." She said then she leant close to Brittany's ear so Mrs Pierce and her Mami couldn't overhear. "She wants us to get married and have babies just as much as your mom does so she will do everything to make sure her future daughter in law is protected."

Brittany couldn't help the smile that always spred across her face when she heard Santana talk about their future with so much assurance that they would be together forever. She nodded.

"Ok, I will be fine." She said firmly, Santana beamed.

"Of course you will. Now come on lets get this over with. I have a surprise for you when this is all over." She told her with a wink. Brittany nodded once more and followed Mrs Lopez into a room leaving Santana alone with her mom.

Mrs Pierce sat down in the waiting room and Santana sighed and flopped down next to her.

"Being positive about everything is EXHAUSTING." She grumbled "I have no idea how Britt does it." She admitted. Mrs Pierce chuckled.

"She's a very special girl." she told her. Santana smiled and nodded

"That's a fact I am well aware of." She said.

"Well hopefully this will be over soon and Brittany can go back to being optimistic enough for both of you." Mrs Pierce teased. Santana chuckled and let her eyes slide shut.

"I can't wait it's so much easier being the miserable bitchy one." Santana said letting her body relax. Mrs Pierce laughed knowing that when she was around Brittany, Santana was the furthest thing from miserable.


End file.
